


What Souls Are

by yulbos



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Soul Mate AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-09
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-28 20:34:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 41,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2746091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yulbos/pseuds/yulbos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone knows that the world is in black and white until a person meets their soul mate. James meets his when he's eleven. And again at twelve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, I wasn't going to start posting this until I'd completed it. But uni is about to get hectic, even more so than usual. And I have five chapters of this more or less done. So, because I won't really have time to write for the rest of the month, I've decided to post this now. As per usual, there won't be regular updates; my life doesn't allow for it at the moment.

Saying goodbye to his parents wasn't as difficult as he had been worrying it would be. There were no tears, on his part or his mother's. Though it was clear they were going to miss him, they only had encouraging things to say about the journey he was going to take and the experiences he was going to have.

"Do try to be good, love." His mother whispered in his ear as she hugged him, her arms like a vice around his shoulders. He hugged her back just as fiercely, his head burrowing into her shoulder. He inhaled deeply, trying to engrave the smell of her perfume into his memory.

"At least, try not to get detention until next week." His father grinned at him. He stepped around his wife to pull James into a hug that wasn't quite as tight as the one his mum had subjected him to.

"I'll try, but I make no promises." James grinned back. He reached for the handle of his trunk and pulled it out of the way as a stern looking woman strode past, her two children trailing behind her.

"That's all I ask."

A loud, piercing whistle rang out above the chatter of those gathered on the platform and James tightened his hand around the handle of his trunk.

"Best get a move on, mate, or all the good seats will be taken." His father smiled gently at him, wrapping an arm around his wife's shoulders.

"I'll write you the day after tomorrow and give you a chance to settle in." Mrs Potter promised. She kissed James on the cheek one last time before he jumped onto the train, nesting her head in the crook of her husband's shoulder.

"See you at Christmas!" James called back, moving aside as a girl with dark grey hair and a boy with greasy black hair and a crooked nose got on. She smiled at him gratefully as she passed and he returned it slightly, ignoring the scowl the boy sent in his direction as he trailed after her.

"We're proud of you, Jamie!" His mum shouted and then she smiled at him. "Go and find somewhere to sit."

With a final wave, James started down the corridor, peering into each compartment as he moved, trying to find one that was either empty or looked like the people inside were also first years.

.

Luckily, he'd got on near the back end of the train and it didn't take him long to find a compartment with only one person sitting inside. The door was already open, so he poked his head through the gap and coughed lightly to alert the only other boy of his presence. He startled slightly and James smiled apologetically, taking a hesitant step into the compartment.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." The boy scoffed at this, but nodded his head in acknowledgement. "I was wondering if I could sit here. Everywhere else is full." That wasn't completely true, but James didn't particularly want to sit with a group of rowdy fourth years and the other boy didn't need to know.

"No, it's fine." He closed the book he'd been reading; a water marked copy of The Adventure of Martin Miggs, The Mad Muggle, and looked at James expectantly when he didn't move.

"Right, cheers." James muttered sheepishly, lifting his trunk onto the rack above the plush bench seats. He lowered himself onto the seat opposite the boy and stared out of the window for a few minutes before sighing. He glanced over at the other boy and found him watching him in mild amusement.

"I'm James. James Potter." James said, breaking the silence that had settled over them and he ignored the manners his mother had tried to teach him. There was no way he was going to shake hands with another eleven year old, no matter how Pureblood he looked.

"I'm Sirius." The other boy said as a way of introduction and James grinned, ignoring the eye roll that was sent in his direction. "I know. I don't know what my parents were thinking. The Blacks have a bad habit of naming their children just so they can torture them."

The grin dropped from James' face and he stared at the boy opposite him. Sirius noticed and he clenched his jaw before speaking.

"What? Don't want to sit with me now?" James shook his head to clear it and he blinked a few times, noticing the well hidden flash of hurt that crossed Sirius' face.

"No! No, it's just that before my mum married Dad, she was a Black. She's never… spoken kindly about them." He watched as Sirius relaxed against the cushions of the seat and gave him a small smile to show he wasn't going anywhere.

"That's probably because there isn't anything nice about them." Sirius said sourly, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck. He glanced around the compartment warily, as if trying to decide whether they'd be overheard or not. "My parents aren't so bad and I do love them. But my cousin Bellatrix is horrible."

"My dad always says that you should judge a person based on 'who they are, not what they are'. So unless you want to, I don't know, go around killing Muggles or something, I don't have a problem with you being a Black."

"That's awfully kind of you." Sirius said sarcastically and James let out a surprised laugh.

"I do try." Sirius snorted and James grinned. "You don't, do you? Want to run around murdering Muggles?"

Sirius stared at him for a few seconds and the then shook his head in exasperation. "No, Potter, I don't want to murder any Muggles. And if I did, it wouldn't be because they're a Muggle."

"That's reassuring." James commented, his lips twitching again. "So, if you're a Black, does that mean you're going to be in Slytherin?"

The other boy grimaced but quickly did his best to hide it. "It's expected of me. My family is rather focussed on tradition and blood purity, in case you hadn't noticed." He pulled a face, deliberately letting James see this time.

"But do think you'll end up there?" James wanted to know. He could already tell that Sirius was going to be his friend and if he ended up in Slytherin then it would make things difficult. Gryffindors weren't supposed to like Slytherins, after all.

"Probably. Being in Slytherin is a privilege, after all, and Blacks are the most privileged of all." He said this as if it was fact and James bit back any protests he had.

"Yeah, but do you want to be a Slytherin?"

"Why would that matter?" Sirius asked, genuine confusion causing his eyebrows to pull downwards into a frown.

"My dad says that sometimes the Hat takes your opinions into consideration. So maybe it will listen to you." James tried not to sound desperate, but he was determined not to lose the only friend he had made. Even if Sirius did end up in Slytherin, at least he'd do it having considered other possibilities.

"I suppose if I had to choose, I'd pick Ravenclaw. If I did end up there, I wouldn't be a complete disappointment to the family, at least. I wouldn't have to deal with Bella, either." James felt a small bubble of hope swell up in his chest and he fought to bite down the smile threatening to emerge.

"My mum was a Ravenclaw. She's always going on at me about how great it is." James said, pushing the sleeves of his jumper up and leaning back against the seat.

"My cousin, Andy, is a Ravenclaw and whenever she sees me, she tells me it's the best thing that's ever happened to her."

"Your cousin's name is Andy?" James questioned dubiously, his eyes narrowing behind his glasses.

"It's short for Andromeda. I told you; Blacks name their children purely so they can torture them." Sirius smiled faintly. "She's always been my favourite cousin. Bellatrix spends most of her time making fun of me. Narcissa never speaks to me and I don't need to spend any more time with the others to know they're all horrible. Andy was the first Black to be a house other than Slytherin in over a hundred years. My parents hate her for it, but she's always stood up for me."

James made an encouraging noise, not entirely sure what to say. He'd grown up without any extended family; his father had an older brother who lived in Austria and his mother didn't talk to any of her family, except for batty old Aunt Celia.

"Anyway, where do you reckon you'll go?" Sirius asked suddenly. His hands fiddled with his shirt sleeves and he looked at his fingers as he waited for an answer.

"That one's easy." James said smugly. "I'm going to be in Gryffindor."

Sirius scoffed. "Who'd want to be one of them?"

"Who wouldn't?" James countered with a scowl. "Gryffindor is the best of all the houses. My dad said so!"

"So? My dad says Slytherin's the best house and that's a lie." The hope that had been growing in James' chest diminished at this.

"My dad doesn't lie! You're not even going to be in Gryffindor, anyway, so what does it matter to you." James demanded heatedly. Sirius stopped short and blinked a few times.

"It doesn't, I suppose. Sorry." James gaped slightly at the apology before smiling.

"S'alright. I'm sorry too." Sirius returned the smile and ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head when a few strands fell into his eye.

"What if you're not in Gryffindor? Where would you want to go?" James scowled at that idea and scuffed his shoe against the train floor, watching with disinterest as dark fields flew passed the window.

"I will be. But, if I'm not, I don't suppose Hufflepuff would be too bad, nor would Ravenclaw."

"But not Slytherin?" Sirius said in amusement, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled.

"Definitely not."

"What's so special about Gryffindor, anyway?"

"What isn't? Gryffindors are brave, loyal, daring, and they get to go on adventures no one else could dream of." He declared and then let out a giggle.

"I guess that doesn't sound too bad. Maybe I'll break the tradition." Sirius conceded with a laugh. "Do they fight dragons?"

"All the time! My uncle Arnie used to be a dragon tamer in Hungary and Dad tells me loads of stories." James said, leaning forward. "D'you want to hear one?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, but leant forward nevertheless. "Go on then."

.

An hour and three stories later, James and Sirius were howling with laughter, James' chest heaving as he tried to control his breathing. Opposite him, Sirius was wiping tears from his eyes with his shirt sleeve. Neither of them noticed the two people standing in the door until one of them coughed. Both boys jumped slightly and glanced sheepishly at each other before turning to look at the newcomers.

"Sorry to bother you, but I think this belongs to you." It was the girl from earlier, closely followed by the same greasy haired boy. She was holding something out to James and when he realised what it was, his hand immediately jumped to his trousers pocket. "You dropped it earlier. I've been looking for you so I could give it back."

"Thank you." James said gratefully, reaching out so she could drop the watch into his hand. "It belonged to my grandfather." He murmured, almost as if to himself. He then stood up and carefully placed it in his trunk.

"That's alright. I just thought I'd better give it back to you. I'm Lily Evans, by the way."

"James Potter, and this is Sirius Black."

The other boy remained silent, glaring at the two new friends from beneath his hair.

"What house do you think you'll be in?" Lily asked curiously, sitting down to perch next to James. The boys grinned at each other and James lifted an invisible sword.

"'Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!' Like my dad."

The greasy haired boy scoffed softly and James aimed a dark glare at him. Lily shot a warning look in his direction.

"Got a problem with that?"

"No." The boy sneered. "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy."

"And where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?" Sirius said quickly, immediately coming to the defence of his new friend.

The boy flushed slowly as James laughed loudly, his head thrown back until it rested against the back of the seat. Lily was slow to react, careful to hide the small smile from her companion but Sirius noticed and grinned at her.

"Come on, Severus, let's go back to our own compartment." She eventually said, looking at James and Sirius in what appeared to be vague dislike. She stood up and moved back over to the door, pulling it open. The boy stalked passed her, glaring at them over his shoulder as he headed down the corridor. Lily turned on her heel, closing the door behind her. Before she could shut it completely, James' voice stopped her.

"Oi, Evans! You never said where you wanted to go."

She smiled slightly. "Gryffindor doesn't sound too bad, does it?"

.

The trolley lady came soon after Lily and the boy had left and the kind, middle aged woman pushing it smiled at them as they bought their sweets. James dropped his armful of chocolate frogs, sugar quills and pumpkin pasties on the bench seat, collapsing down next to them. Opposite him, Sirius did the same and they grinned at each other before digging in.

"Hey, James, do you mind if I nick a chocolate frog?" Sirius asked, already reaching forwards.

"Not at all." James answered, holding one out with one hand and rummaging through the pile in search of a box of Bertie Bott's with the other.

"Cheers." Sirius went to grab the packet, his fingers brushing against James' hand and both boys froze in shock.

James had been told stories about what it was like to meet your soul mate all his life. His parents had been lucky enough to find each other and had taken great joy in telling their only son about how everything they'd known had changed.

The stories didn't do it justice, in James' opinion. The compartment, which had been varying shades of grey, white and black, was suddenly overwhelmingly bright. Colour was everywhere and for some reason, James found that he knew the names of all of them even though he'd never seen them before.

Sirius made a small noise of surprise and James snapped his attention back onto his new friend. The boy's hair was black, which given how dark it had been, wasn't really surprising and his eyes were grey with a hint of blue around the pupils. James found himself staring and tried to shake himself out of his daze, but wherever his gaze fell there were more colours to look at. The bright green fields outside the window had a certain charm to them and he spent a few minutes with his face close to the glass, trying to drink as much in as he could.

"D-did it happen to you, too?" Sirius asked quietly a few moments later, staring at James intently.

"Yeah." He breathed back, meeting Sirius' look with his own. "Yeah, it did."

"What the bloody hell's going on, Potter?" He wondered warily and James felt his mouth drop open.

"You mean you don't know about-?" He was cut off by Sirius' annoyed glare.

"Of course I know what it means. That we're… soul mates." He whispered the last part, as if it had only just occurred to him.

"Yeah, I guess we are." James was still shocked; it hadn't been expected, but he'd also been hoping for this day to come for as long as he could remember. His parents' stories had always sounded too good to be true and he had always wished that one day he'd be able to see that they weren't.

"How can you be so calm about this?" Sirius demanded, his eyes wide in panic. James reached out to grab his hand and pretended not to be hurt when the other boy shrank away from him.

"It's not that bad, is it? Why are you so scared?" James knew he'd hit a nerve when Sirius stopped short and glared at him fiercely. He was about to apologise when he felt a tentative hand grab hold of his and wrap around his fingers tightly.

"I'm not scared." Sirius muttered angrily and then he moaned and threw his head backwards so he was staring at the ceiling. "My parents are going to kill me. No one in my family has met their soul mate in four hundred years and of course mine is a bloke."

He sighed heavily and lifted his head to glance at James, offering him a wry smile. "Breaking traditions indeed, eh?"

"So you're not… worried… anymore?"

Sirius didn't answer that question and instead shot him a levelling look. "I'm not a poof, just so you know."

James hadn't even considered that possibility and he stared at the boy in front of him for a few seconds before speaking. "Neither am I."

"But aren't soul mates supposed to be, I don't know, in love or something?" Sirius asked hesitantly, picking at his fingernails and staring out of the window as he waited for an answer.

"I think we can be whatever we want. I'm pretty sure there aren't any rules about this." James said, watching Sirius' face carefully.

"So, we don't have to…" Sirius trailed off nervously and James was quick to shake his head.

"Nah. My grandmother's soul mate was her sister, so no, we definitely don't have to do anything. We can be friends." James was uncertain and he glanced up at Sirius. "Right? Being friends with me wouldn't be so terrible, would it?"

"I don't know." Sirius teased. "I'm beginning to regret letting you sit in here. You're clearly nothing but trouble, Potter."

"Yeah, yeah." James grumbled. Outside the window, the fields were slowly turning into buildings, rows and rows of red brick houses appearing seemingly out of nowhere. "C'mon. My dad said that as soon as the houses started to change into our robes."

"I bloody hate these things." Sirius complained as he pulled his trunk from the rack, tossing it unceremoniously on the seat and then opened it. From his position James could see that the trunk was lined in a dark green with silver threads shimmering from the overhead light. The Slytherin house crest was visible on some of the things piled neatly beneath Sirius' robes and he scoffed derisively at them before slamming the lid shut.

James focussed on getting his own robes out after that and pulled them out of his trunk quickly. A photo of him with his parents caught his eye and he paused to smile at the three waving figures standing in his living room. Behind him, he could hear Sirius cursing as he tried to tug the robes on over his shoes. Hiding a grin, he concentrated on changing into his robes, toeing his shoes off before pulling the material over his legs.

Just after he sat down again, watching in amusement as Sirius struggled to push his trunk back onto the rack, a voice echoed through the compartment. Both boys stopped moving in order to listen. "We will be reaching Hogwarts in five minutes' time. Please leave your luggage on the train, it will be taken to the school separately."

"This is it then, I guess." James said as the train started to slow down. Sirius nodded and pushed passed him into the corridor with a laugh.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all. I'm giving you this as a New Year's present (happy new year!) and because I am currently wrapped up in bed with a really bad cold and nothing better to do. If there are any mistakes in this, blame the cold and no doubt I'll find something to complain about later.

The platform was packed when they finally managed to get off of the train and they stuck close together as the crowd was jostled around. They looked at each other, unsure of where to go or what to do, until a loud voice shouted out and carried across the heads of everyone gathered on the platform. A lamp appeared a few seconds later, sending the station into a mix of dark browns, oranges and the sky was beginning to darken, bright pink bleeding into blue behind a cluster of trees.

"Firs'-years! Firs'-years over here!" The owner of the voice was a giant of a man with hands larger than James' head and a long, tangled beard.

"C'mon!" Sirius muttered, pulling James after him by his sleeve. They darted around a tall, pale blonde boy and three of his friends and Sirius ignored the voice that called out for him when they passed.

"Who was that?" James asked, shivering slightly as they came to a stop at the back of a small group of first years.

"A friend of the family." Sirius answered darkly. James decided not to press any further and simply nodded.

"C'mon, follow me – anymore firs'-years? Mind yer step, now! Firs'-years follow me!"

They followed the giant from the platform and were careful not to slip as they stumbled down a steep, muddy path. The light from the lamp cast shadows from the surrounding trees and more than once Sirius whispered warnings about being able to see something further in.

"Shut up." James hissed after the fourth time of Sirius grabbing hold of his shoulder and pointing off into the branches. The other boy huffed out a laugh and grabbed James' shoulder again.

"I thought Gryffindors were meant to be brave." James turned his head to glare at him, which caused him to laugh harder.

"We are." He said, punching Sirius on the arm and snorting when he shrank back exaggeratedly.

After that they lapsed into silence, Sirius giggling to himself every few minutes and James rolling his eyes whilst trying not to smile.

"Yeh'll get yer firs' sight o' Hogwarts in a sec," The man called from the front of the group and the two boys glanced at each other in excitement. "Jus' around this bend here."

The group seemed to push forward as one, everyone eager to get a glimpse of what would be their home for the next three months. There was a collective gasp as the path opened out onto the edge of a massive lake, the pink sky reflected in the water. James pointed this out to Sirius and both boys stared at it in fascination before the man's next words drew their attention away.

"Welcome to Hogwarts!" Both boys gaped at the giant castle, the lights in the windows looking like stars, the last few tendrils of orange wrapping around the many turrets and towers. "No more'n four to a boat!" He pointed to a small collection of boats moored at the edge of the lake.

The first years hurried towards the boats, eager to get out of the cold. James and Sirius clambered into a boat close to the edge of the group and settled down next to each other.

"D'you mind if we join you?" A small, skinny boy with dark brown hair and freckles asked from the shore. A taller, gangly boy with scars across his face trailed behind him, looking about nervously and he refused to look either of them in the eye.

"No, go ahead." James said, moving his feet out of the way so that they could climb in.

"Thanks a lot. I'm Frank Longbottom and this here is Remus Lupin." Sirius seemed to recognise the first boy's name because he looked up sharply.

"Longbottom? As in, son of Augusta, Longbottom?"

"Yes." Frank said hesitantly, eyeing Sirius warily.

"It's been a while, cousin." Sirius smiled and a few moments later, Frank joined him.

"Sirius? Blimey it's been at least three years."

"Everyone in?" The giant, who was at the front of the group in a boat to himself, boomed. "Right then – FORWARD!"

The boats set off, spreading ripples out across the surface and James reached into the water to flick some at Sirius. There wasn't much talking as everyone looked ahead at the castle. It seemed impossibly big as they approached the cliff it was built on and James found his neck craning back to look at it properly.

"Heads down!" The man yelled as his boat neared the cliff and they all bent their heads.

A sheet of ivy covered a wide opening and Sirius grabbed a few vines, flicking them at James with a laugh. James scowled for a second, letting Sirius see, before he grinned back and reached over for a high five. As their palms connected, the colours around them seemed to flair even brighter than they had been and both boys gasped quietly, ignoring the inquisitive look Remus gave them.

They eventually stopped at an underground dock, built into the cave, and eagerly climbed out of the boats, clustering around the giant.

"Everyone got everythin'?" He asked as he checked the now empty boats. When they agreed, he straightened out and James could see a smile underneath his beard. "Le's go, then!"

He led them up a narrow passageway, the lamp held above his head the only source of light and James pulled a face at the wet cave walls. With a snigger, he reached out so he could brush his fingers against the rough rock before wiping them against his friend's cheek. The resulting squawk of disgust made him laugh, which he tried to stifle with his other hand. He stopped bothering when he heard a quiet huff of amusement behind him from either Remus or Frank. They came out of the passage on to a large, grassy clearing and walked up a flight of stairs in order to congregate around a huge oak door.

"Everyone here?" They nodded and he raised one of his massive fists before knocking on the door three times.

.

They were greeted by a stern looking woman dressed in dark green robes, and James was fascinated by the fact that as she moved the material seemed to shimmer in places. He glanced at Sirius and found him staring as well. He nudged the slightly taller boy's shoulder with his own and raised his eyebrows, looking at the woman meaningfully. Sirius caught on quickly and nodded his understanding, their agreement silent; don't give themselves away, soul mates this young were almost unheard of and them both being boys was even rarer still.

"The firs'-years, Professor McGonagall."

She watched them carefully for a few seconds before speaking. "Thank you, Hagrid. I will take them from here."

Hagrid, the giant, pushed the door open wider and disappeared across the Entrance Hall and through a set of oak doors.

As the group walked through the hall, Sirius could hear the constant chatter of hundreds of people, which judging from the sound of it, meant that the rest of the school was behind the doors. Instead of leading them in that direction though, McGonagall directed them into a chamber on the opposite wall.

They clustered together and as James turned his head to look around, his eyes caught sight of Evans and he couldn't help but stare at her. Her hair was a dark red and was by far the nicest colour James had seen yet. The colour seemed to dance in the light, strands of orange catching in the dim candlelight.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," McGonagall said, drawing James' attention away from the girl. "The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses." James and Sirius turned to grin at each other and he noticed that Evans and the hook-nosed boy from earlier did the same.

"The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory and spend free time in your house common room."

Sirius cast James a nervous look and he nodded encouragingly back, unable to reassure the other boy that no matter what happened he wasn't going to stop speaking to him without speaking. Something he didn't think the strict looking professor would approve of much.

"The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rule-breaking will lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points in awarded the House Cup, a great honour. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever house becomes yours."

"The Sorting ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you're waiting." She narrowed her eyes at James' muddy shoes and then her gaze flickered to Sirius' cheek briefly before moving on to some of the other students. "I shall return when we are ready for you. Please wait quietly." With that she left the room, her emerald robes billowing out behind her as she span on her heel.

Once she was gone, the room burst into chatter, the group of eleven year olds wondering what houses they'd be placed in and whether they'd be split up from their new found friends.

James watched Sirius' face carefully, looking for any signs of him panicking. When he deemed Sirius was more than likely calmer than he was, he reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. "Just so you know, if we end up in different houses, we're still going to be friends."

"Of course we are. You can't get rid of me that easily, Potter." Sirius teased back and he felt himself smile.

"Even if you do end up in stinking Slytherin." Sirius pulled a face at that and James' smile grew into a grin. He avoided the hand that was aiming for his head and was about to retaliate when a loud shriek stopped him.

Behind them a group of about twenty ghosts had appeared through the far wall, some of them not completely through yet, their pearly-white limbs sticking out of the stone. They glided across the room chatting amongst themselves and seemingly not noticing the children cowering away from them.

"Forgive and forget, I say, we ought to give him a second chance –" A short, stumpy monk said angrily.

"My dear Friar, haven't we given Peeves all the chances he deserves? He gives us all a bad name and you know, he's not really even a ghost – I say, what are you all doing here?" A tall ghost wearing a ruff demanded, having finally noticed them.

Either everybody was too shocked by their appearance to answer him or it hadn't registered that he was speaking to them because nobody spoke.

"New students!" The Fat Friar said with a smile that a few of the first years returned hesitantly. "Hope to see you in Hufflepuff! My old house, you know."

"Move along now, the Sorting ceremony's about to begin. Now form a line and follow me." McGonagall announced sharply as she re-entered the room, holding it open so they could file passed her.

She marched across the Entrance Hall and over to the doors that Hagrid had disappeared through earlier. They followed her quietly, most of them turning their heads as they walked, trying to take in as much as possible.

The doors swung open, revealing the most amazing room James had ever seen. Thousands of candles were floating above four long tables thoroughly covered in golden plates, platters and goblets. The rest of the students were sat around these tables, watching the new first years with interest as they were led down the gap between a group of teenagers with a yellow and black symbol on their robes and a group of teenagers with blue and bronze on theirs. Some of the ghosts from the chamber were scattered around the room, smiling kindly at them.

They came to a stop before an equally laden table where the teachers were sitting. As he waited for whatever was going to happen next, Sirius found himself looking up at the ceiling and he inhaled quickly, nudging James with a shoulder and nodding upwards. The ceiling matched the sky outside; now a navy blue so dark it looked almost black. Bright silver stars twinkled and both boys quietly started to count as many as they could, whispering the numbers to each other every couple of seconds.

Professor McGonagall placed a stool on the flagstone in front of them and as she put a ratty old hat on top of the seat. The ripped seam near the brim opened and began to sing, something his mother had warned him of and they paused their game long enough to listen to what it was saying.

.

McGonagall pulled a large roll of parchment out of her sleeve as the song came to an end at strode to the front of the group.

"When I call your name, you will put on the Hat and sit on the stool to be sorted." She said clearly, her eyes sweeping over the first years critically. "Avery, Arman."

A stocky, scowling boy pushed forward from the back and sat down on the stool, a look of disinterest on his face. It took the Hat less than ten seconds to loudly declare "SLYTHERIN!" The table to the far left erupted into thunderous applause and James ducked his head to hide the face he pulled.

McGonagall read a few more names out, each of them going to either Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff and Sirius felt his breathing speeding up as she got closer to his name.

"Black, Sirius." The hall went silent, as it usually did whenever a child of a family as notorious as the Blacks first went to Hogwarts. Sirius took a deep breath, glanced at James for reassurance and only moved forwards when he nodded at him.

He didn't miss the expectant looks that his cousins Bellatrix and Narcissa were sending him from the Slytherin table when he glanced nervously over his shoulder, but he did ignore them. He lowered himself onto the stool slowly and inhaled sharply when the Hat slipped over his eyes.

"Anywhere but Slytherin. I don't care where I go as long as it's not Slytherin." He thought before he could stop himself and startled when a deep chuckle answered him.

"Not Slytherin, eh? No, dear boy. Slytherin is most definitely not the house for you." The Hat murmured in his ear and Sirius felt himself slouch slightly in relief. The Hat continued to talk quietly, Sirius relaxing more with every word. "But where to put you? Your loyalty would serve you well in Hufflepuff, oh yes, and your thirst for knowledge would benefit you in Ravenclaw. But your bravery… Oh, your bravery surmounts them all." The Hat became quiet for a second and Sirius pushed it up so he could look out at the crowd in front of him.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

The table on the far right looked unsure of whether to cheer or not, until one person started clapping. Then the table burst into the loudest applause yet and as Sirius passed the Hat back to a bemused McGonagall, he shot a startled but pleased look at James, who was grinning so widely it looked like it must have been painful.

A few of the Slytherins hissed and he risked a peek over at his cousins. Bellatrix looked furious, her black eyebrows drawn tightly over her dark, deep set eyes and her mouth pulled into a thin line. Beside her, Narcissa was wearing a look of confusion, her eyes not really focussing on anything as she gaped in his direction.

McGonagall ushered him onwards and he stumbled towards the Gryffindor table still shocked that he'd somehow made it into the house he'd made fun of only hours before. As he waded through the other first years, he made a point to walk as closely as he could get to James, reaching out to brush their hands together quickly. When their skin connected, their smiles grew as the colours around them became almost overwhelmingly bright.

Sirius slipped away as McGonagall read out the next name on the list, sitting down next to a burly fifth year with bright ginger hair. His smile became sheepish when the ginger boy grinned at him and clapped him on the shoulder. He turned back to the Sorting in disinterest, watching as a few more students were sorted into their houses, clapping along when Benjamin Fenwick became the next member of Gryffindor.

"Evans, Lily." Was read out and Sirius paused long enough to watch the girl from earlier on the train, who'd returned James' watch approach the stool. She had an apprehensive look on her face which Sirius completely understood and he watched curiously as she placed the Hat on her head.

Not even a minute later the Hat bellowed "GRYFFINDOR!" and he joined in with the cheering. He saw her give her friend a sad smile as she passed him, but as soon as she was behind him the smile became happier. When she reached the table he offered her a quick quirk of his lips and moved away from the burly boy slightly so she could slip in beside him. She took one look at him, her lips twitching and she shook her head, moving around the benches so she was sitting opposite him instead. He nodded at her in understanding and scooted back to where he had been.

The Sorting passed quickly after that, the scarred boy from the boat, a girl with insanely curly blonde hair and a girl with icy blue eyes that promised mischief joined him as Gryffindor first years. As McGonagall worked through the 'P's, Sirius felt nerves begin to bubble up in his chest and he started dry heaving when a boy named Pettigrew moved to sit next to Lupin.

"Potter, James."

.

For the first time since he'd entered the Great Hall, James felt the niggle of doubt in the back of his head. It whispered that he wasn't good enough to be a Gryffindor and that he'd be sent straight back home because he wasn't good enough for any of the houses.

He swallowed heavily and inched forwards to sit on the stool, his palms sweaty as he rubbed them against his legs. The Hat was placed on his head and he tried to slow his breathing down as he waited for the verdict.

"Please be Gryffindor." He silently pleaded, staring at the underside of the Hat's brim and he jolted when a snigger that he hadn't made whispered to his ear.

"As if you belong anywhere else." The Hat's voice laughed and James relaxed slightly. "GRYFFINDOR!"

The noise the far right table made felt louder than any they'd made before, but all James could hear was the pounding of his own heartbeat, and after he'd handed the Hat back to McGonagall he searched for Sirius' face in the crowd. Once he'd found him, he stumbled over to the Gryffindor table on shaky legs, collapsing down next to Sirius with a relieved grin.

"Not too shabby, eh, mate?" He asked on a laugh, letting out a heavy sigh.

Sirius watched him for a few moments through silver eyes lined with blue and grinned suddenly. "Not too bad at all."

.

The Sorting went on for a while after that, a few unpleasant looking sods being welcomed into Slytherin that Sirius tried to ignore so as to avoid Bellatrix's heavy glare. A few more people had been sorted into Gryffindor, but it didn't really matter to Sirius and he focussed all of his attention on James. The two of them were playing a game of how many candles they could count without moving their heads when in front of them, Evans froze in her seat.

"Snape, Severus."

The greasy boy from the train stalked forwards, his head lowered so he was looking at the floor and the Hat had barely even touched his head when it shouted, "SLYTHERIN!". He sloped off towards the Slytherin table, where they were cheering loudly for him and he sat down next to the platinum blonde boy from the platform, a silver badge gleaming under the lights on his chest as he beamed proudly at the newest member of his house.

Evans groaned quietly, burying her head in her hands for a minute before looking up again. James met her eyes with his own, startled by just how intense they were, the bright green not what he had been expecting at all and it took him a moment to get his bearings back.

"Tough luck, Evans." She quirked a brow at him but didn't answer straight away so he expanded. "He was your mate, yeah? S'tough when you're split up."

"What would you know about that, Potter?" She asked sarcastically, her eyes flitting between him and Sirius briefly. "You've got yours with you."

That stopped him short and he glanced over at Sirius. The other boy smirked at him and raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"What, you don't think we're mates? Come on now, Potter."

"No – I – no." James stuttered, responding to the amused look he was being sent with a weak glare. Evans watched them with a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth before she sighed again and looked over at the Slytherin table.

"He's my best friend and he's the one that told me about magic." Sirius snapped his attention to her.

"You're a Mudblood?" He asked curiously and didn't notice the heavy glare James sent in his direction for a few seconds. "What?"

"Don't call them that." He hissed, his glare still firmly in place and Sirius flinched.

"Why not?"

"Because it's not very nice, you prat." James answered with a scowl.

"But my family uses it all the –" Understanding dawned on his face and he winced noticeably. "Sorry, Evans."

She waved it off with a shake of her head, confusion written across her face. Before she could voice the question she was clearly building up to, James spoke quietly and quickly.

"'Mudblood''s the word that Dark wizards use to describe magical kids born to Muggles. Kids like you." Evans nodded thoughtfully, then leant forward on her forearms.

"But what's so bad about it? It's just a word." Sirius stiffened at this and had the decency to look extremely sheepish.

"It's something, or a variant of the original, that Purebloods have been using for centuries to describe those born to Muggle parents. It's… not a nice thing. It means that to the ones who use it, you're unclean and unworthy of magical talent." Sirius muttered guiltily, refusing to look at either Lily or James until he felt a shoulder nudging his own.

"You don't think that though, right?" James questioned anxiously, as if Sirius' answer was the most important thing in the world and the future of their friendship depended on it.

"Not really…? I don't mean to, I've never thought the way my family treated Muggles was right." He risked a look at James and his shoulders slumped in relief when he saw him smiling slightly. "I've never thought people without magic were any less than those with it, but my family isn't exactly accepting."

The Sorting had finally come to a close, McGonagall removing the stool and the Hat before returning to her seat to the right of the man James recognised as Dumbledore. His blue eyes twinkled behind his glasses and he rested his chin on interlocked fingers, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

He got to his feet slowly, the smile growing when the buzz of noise stopped, students old and new watching him expectantly.

"Welcome!" He said softly, yet his voice carried as if it had been amplified. "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words."

.

The feast had been delicious; mountains of food that James and Sirius had been hard-pressed not to drool over and goblets of pumpkin juice that they had guzzled down. When it was finally over and they'd been led by a fifth year prefect to their dormitory, James collapsed face first onto the bed that had his trunk at the end of it.

"I'm bloody knackered." He managed to get out around a yawn, burying his head into the crook of his elbow and watching Sirius from beneath his fringe.

Sirius lowered himself onto the edge of his bed; he'd managed to convince Pettigrew to switch with him when he'd first seen the arrangement with the promise of chocolate frogs, and stared at the floor for a few minutes without moving. Just as James was about to say something, he sighed heavily and flopped backwards, pillowing his head on his crossed arms.

"You alright?" James asked quietly, casting a nervous glance at the rest of the room, although he needn't have bothered. Remus was tucked up in bed, his head buried in the pillows and his back moving slowly as he breathed; Peter was snoring loudly from his position next to the window, and Fenwick had fallen asleep sprawled out across the mattress, his head falling off of one side uncomfortably.

"I'm fine." Sirius answered stiffly and then snorted derisively a few seconds later. "Well, that's not true. My parents are going to kill me over this, you know. They'd have given me a right bollocking for ending up anywhere but Slytherin as it was, but Gryffindor? I wouldn't be surprised if they blasted me off the family tree and disowned me for this." He rubbed a hand across his face.

James remained silent, not knowing what to say and watched Sirius instead.

"You watch, they'll send me a 'strongly worded letter' tomorrow morning after Bellatrix has written to them to express her outrage at me daring to taint the family name. They'll demand I speak to Dumbledore to try to find a more acceptable house to move into."

"You don't know that." James said as supportively as he could, not knowing how to make his friend feel better about the situation. "They might leave it alo-"

"They won't! I know they won't!" Sirius cut across him loudly and then cast a quick, anxious look around the room to make sure he hadn't woken any of the others up. "It's what Andy's parents did to her when she got sorted into Ravenclaw."

"You couldn't help where you got sorted, though." James offered instead.

"I could, though." Sirius groaned, lifting himself up onto an elbow so he could stare at James with dark grey eyes. "Your dad was right; the Hat does listen to you. I asked not to be in Slytherin and now here I am." He laughed mockingly. "I don't bloody believe this."

James was still stuck on what he'd said before that and he felt himself begin to grin. "You asked not to be put in Slytherin?"

"Well, yeah. I mean… shut up, Potter." Sirius grumbled back, a matching smirk starting to stretch across his face and he reached behind him to grab a pillow and throw it across the space between them. James quickly rolled out of the way, laughing as he retrieved the pillow and threw it back. It landed true with pinpoint accuracy, although Sirius batted it away with a huff of laughter and put it back. He sobered for a second. "This is all your fault, you know."

"I know." James said with a happy smile, rolling onto his back and tilting so he was looking at an upside down Sirius. "D'you hate me yet?"

"Not yet, but I'm sure it won't take long." Sirius wiggled up the bed, pulled the covers down enough to get underneath them and pulled them up to his chin. He gazed back at James seriously, his eyes oddly pensive. "The fallout's going to be horrific. Are you sure you want to be friends with me?"

James got settled into bed before he answered, his glasses resting on the bedside table next to him and he squinted across the room at Sirius. "Sirius, you're my soul mate. That means you're stuck with me, whether you want me or not."

He didn't see the smile on Sirius' face as they fell asleep and by the time they woke up the next morning, it was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all. I'm posting this a bit earlier than planned, purely because I feel like it. The next chapter will be up end of February/early March.  
> Warning: there are uses of homophobic slurs in this chapter towards the end, they're not aimed at anyone directly, but they are there. I do not, in any way, agree with what is said, I just wanted to let you all know that they exist :) (also on a side note: I included the use of coloured school ties, although I can't remember if they were an addition for the films or not)

The morning after the Sorting all of the first year Gryffindor boys woke up early, a mixture of excitement and apprehension encouraging them to rise from their beds. They got dressed slowly, chatting amiably as they pulled their robes on. Sirius was pale as he listened to the others' talking and James paused before they left the dormitory to place a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" It was a repeat of the question he'd asked last night, but Sirius seemed to appreciate it more the second time around because he offered a small smile in return.

"Let's just get this over with." He went to pull the door open, only to pause at the sight of James' red and gold tie, which he stared at for a few seconds until James quirked an eyebrow and coughed lightly. He flushed at being caught, but nodded at it.

"Still weird, isn't it?" He asked, looking around them at all the mahogany wood and Gryffindor fixings around the room. "The colours, I mean. They're still so bright. It's kind of unnerving."

Sirius gave him an amused look and yanked the door open. "It only happened yesterday, Potter, of course things are still weird." As they headed down the stairs into the Common Room, where the rest of the boys were waiting with the Prefect who had shown them to Gryffindor tower, he changed the topic. "When we get to breakfast, don't say I didn't warn you."

.

The walk down to breakfast was fairly pleasant, even with Sirius in an increasingly agitated mood. The Prefect, a lanky fifth year by the name of Rory Thomas kept them entertained with stories of Peeves, the school's resident poltergeist. James kept trying to memorise the journey down to the Great Hall, Sirius distracting him by whispering the wrong directions into his ear as they walked and dancing out of the way with a laugh whenever James aimed a swat at him.

When they reached the Entrance Hall, Sirius slowed down significantly, trailing behind the rest of the group. He cast an untrustworthy look around the mostly empty hall before following the rest of his fellow first years into the Great Hall. The room was packed, the incessant buzz of chatter blocking out any other sounds as he trailed after James towards their table. Across the room he saw Bellatrix and Narcissa watching him closely and he ignored them, staring straight in front of him at the back of James' head.

"Just ignore them." James said as they lowered themselves onto one of the benches. The tables, much like the previous evening, were laden with tureens of food that he felt his eyes grow wide at.

The Gryffindor girls had already arrived and Evans offered them a small smile in greeting as she helped herself to three slices of toast. She buttered them all and then reached for three different jams, all the while keeping up a string of conversation with the girl sitting next to her.

"That would be a lot easier if I couldn't feel Bella glaring at the back of my head." Sirius muttered back, stabbing a slice of bacon angrily with his knife and shoving half of it in his mouth at once. He pretended not to notice the disgusted look Evans shot in his direction and instead pulled a bowl of scrambled eggs towards him. "I swear, she's like a dog with a bone. Once she's got something against you, you will never hear the end of it. It's like she makes it her life's mission just to make yours miserable."

"You sound like you're speaking from experience." James said, amused as he popped the yolk of one of his fried eggs and dipped a torn piece of bread into it.

"I may have turned her favourite china doll into a perfect replica of a hag when I was seven." Sirius smirked and James barked out a surprised laugh. "She especially hated it when I told her I saw no difference and thought, if anything, it looked more like her."

James sniggered behind a clenched fist. "I bet it looked better, too."

Sirius grinned and nodded. "It really did. It wasn't as terrifying, either." He shovelled some more bacon into his mouth and was chewing furiously when the first owls started swooping through the open windows. He swallowed heavily and his fork clattered onto his plate when a furious looking great horned owl landed in front of him. He reached for the letter tied to its outstretched leg and bit back a pained noise when it bit him sharply on the finger before stretching its wings out and shooting off.

"Yeah, yeah, love you too, Pudge." Sirius muttered, glaring at the large bird as it flew towards the other end of the room. He turned back to find James watching him, one corner of his mouth lifted up slightly into a half smile. "What?"

"Pudge?" James asked, laughter breaking through a little bit as he spoke and Sirius smiled.

"My parents had the bright idea of letting my brother name him when he was five. They learnt to regret it about five minutes later." The smile dropped as he glanced down at the thick envelope resting on the table in front of him. He sighed and picked it up, his fingers shaking a little bit as he tore the flap on the back open. "Let's see how many different ways they want to kill me."

James watched for a few seconds as the boy next to him skim read the first few lines of the three page, double sided letter his parents had sent him. He turned around as a fluffy barn owl landed on his outstretched hand and he smiled affectionately, the fingers of his opposite hand reaching out to brush softly over the bird's feathers.

"Hello, Acadius." He said quietly as he untied the creamy envelop from his leg. The owl hooted softly and James reached for a piece of toast and broke a piece off. He offered it to Acadius, who made an approving hoot and unfurled his wings. He shuffled a bit before nipping James on the finger affectionately and then took off, following the few remaining owls off towards one of the open windows.

Sirius was still deeply engrossed with his own letter, so James opened the envelope in his hand and pulled out a single sheet of parchment.

"Dearest James,

We hear congratulations are in order, darling! Well done. Your father and I are so proud of you. Your father practically jumped for joy last night when we got the owl from McGonagall to tell us you'd made it into Gryffindor, but don't mention it to him. You know what he's like.

I'm baking some of your favourite biscuits as I'm writing this, so expect a package of those tomorrow.

Anyway, I must dash, darling boy. This was just a quick line to tell you that we're proud of you and that we love you. We can't wait to have you back for Christmas, and it hasn't even been a full day yet! Enjoy yourself and please wait until next week to get into trouble; I have a bet going with your father and you wouldn't want me to lose, would you?

Waiting anxiously for your reply,

Love and kisses,

Mum

xxx

James smiled at the parchment in his hand, trying to blink back the wetness in his eyes. Sirius was on the last page of his letter, his hands fisted around the edges and crumpling the parchment. His face was pale, his eyes narrowed and his lips were thinned in a tight line as he read.

When he was finished, he threw it down onto the table in disgust, not caring that one of the corners landed in the remainder of James' egg yolk, and another bent into his cup of pumpkin juice.

"I told you." Were the first words out of his mouth and James looked at him. "They want me to go and speak to Dumbledore 'immediately'." He sneered as said the word.

"They didn't take it well, then?" James said morosely, looking down at his clasped hands resting on the table.

"I'll say. They said I'm a huge disappointment to the family name, I've let them down and that if it wouldn't cause more shame to the family, they'd consider disowning me." He said tightly, rubbing a fist across his eyes quickly. James gaped.

"All over a stupid house?" Sirius offered him a watery smile.

"You, calling houses stupid? Who'd have thought this day would come?" He laughed when James scowled. "Yeah, 'all over a stupid house'. I told you, Blacks take the whole being a Slytherin business extremely seriously."

"That's stupid, though." James argued, bumping shoulders with Sirius when he looked down at his lap. "No, it is. They shouldn't treat you any differently just because you're not in the house they wanted you to be. It's really stupid."

"It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't Gryffindor. You don't get it, James. Gryffindor represents everything my family hates. The fact that I'm in it? Means I now represent everything they hate. My parents aren't going to see this as something that couldn't be helped. They're going to see me as defective; as something that went wrong along the way."

"But you're not!" James said hotly, his cheeks flushing angrily. "There's nothing wrong with you!"

"Isn't there?" Sirius asked slightly drily. "We're raised to be perfect Slytherins. We don't get a choice. We're born into a family that places a certain set of ideals above all else, and if you so much as think they might be wrong you're instantly tainted as a traitor to the cause."

James opened his mouth to say something else about how stupid he found that idea when Sirius stiffened next to him. "What's wrong?" He asked instead, shifting closer to his friend.

"Hello, Cousin." An overly sweet voice behind them said and James instantly tensed.

"Bellatrix." Sirius answered carefully, refusing to turn around and instead focussed on a spot just over Evans' shoulder. She looked at him in concern and he shook his head minutely. She picked up on it and went back to her conversation with Dorcas as if nothing had happened.

"How's it feel to be a traitor, Cousin?" Bellatrix asked, moving to stand an inch behind Sirius, her hair almost touching the top of his head. Narcissa stood behind her silently, her arms crossed over her chest as she looked at him coolly.

"Marvellous." He said back, picking at his nails as if her presence didn't bother him. James pretended not to notice the slight shake to his fingers and took a slow sip of pumpkin juice. "I've never felt better, actually."

She hissed, placing a clawed hand on his shoulder and didn't notice him flinch under it. "You're an embarrassment, you know. You've made us a laughing stock."

"You've cause far more damage to the family name than I have Bella, and you're a Slytherin." He felt a brief flash of satisfaction when her grip tightened and she took a deep breath in. He'd bothered her. Good. "In fact, I'm curious as to why you weren't disowned after the stunt you pulled last January."

"That was not my fault, and you know it, you little brat." Bellatrix seethed for a moment and then spat out, "If you don't fall in line, and quickly, you'll be punished. You know how your mother hates disobedience."

"You know me, Bella, anything to get on Mother's nerves." He glanced over his shoulder at her and smirked. "There's nothing I enjoy more. Now, did you have a point, or were you just here to be annoying?"

"Stay away from us, traitor. If you're this unrepentant about being a complete failure to the family name then we don't want anything to do with you." She sneered at him.

"Gladly. Nobody talks to you willingly, Bella, and if they do it's a sign of madness." Sirius hunched his shoulders and James, who had slowly moved closer to Sirius over this exchange glared at her fiercely, his arm draped protectively across Sirius' shoulders.

"Sod off and leave him alone."

Bellatrix's dark eyes swept over him quickly and she barked out a laugh. "And who're you? His guard dog? Keep out of this; it doesn't concern you."

"James Potter, and he's my friend, so yes it does. You're not wanted here, bugger off." James tightened the arm he had around the other boy's shoulders, smiling confidently at him when he met his eyes.

"Who do you think you are to threaten me? Do you know who I am?" She scoffed and looked at Narcissa for support. The stoic blonde smiled slightly, which she took for encouragement.

James matched her scoff with one of his own and gave her a derisive once over. "Yeah, you're a stupid hag who doesn't know when she's not wanted."

Bellatrix's hand twitched towards her left sleeve and her eyes narrowed dangerously, but before she could say or do anything there was a light cough from behind her.

"Is there a problem here?" McGonagall asked seriously, a sheets of parchment in her arms. She glanced between the four of them sternly.

"No, Professor." Bellatrix answered quickly, her arm dropping down to rest at her side. McGonagall followed the movement and her eyebrow twitched. "I was just checking on my cousin, making sure that he was settling in alright."

"Well, if I'm not interrupting anything earth shatteringly important, I suggest you get back to your own table. Professor Slughorn will be handing out timetables in a moment." She watched the two girls back away slowly.

"Yes, Professor. See you later, Cousin." Sirius wasn't the only one who heard the threat in that statement and McGonagall watched her walk away with a small frown.

"Was she bothering you, Black?" She asked, slight concern lacing her voice.

"No, Professor. It wasn't anything serious." His lips lifted briefly, his eyes wide and, years later, he'd come to recognise the look she gave him as her version of a fond smile.

"If that's the case, then here are your timetables." She said, handing over two sheets of parchment and both boys immediately bent over them, their heads pressed together. She moved off further down the table, casting one last look over her shoulder as she passed a group of sixth years their timetables.

"Ugh." Sirius moaned, all traces of Bellatrix's visit gone, although James heard him sniff deeply a few times. Knowing Sirius would hate it if he made a scene, he ignored it in favour of elbowing him in the side gently.

"Potions first thing on a Monday? What is the world coming to?" He asked dramatically and Sirius grinned over at him quickly. "And with the Slytherins, no less."

"Andy told me that Slughorn's as easy as anything to wrap around your finger; you just need to know how to play his game." He snorted. "Her words, not mine."

"He's an old friend of Dad's, I think. He's a weird old man, from what I remember, but I haven't seen him since I was about six." James said, rubbing a hand through his hair as he looked at the parchment.

"After that, Herbology with the Hufflepuffs. Not too bad, I suppose." His eyes skimmed downwards and he groaned. "And Charms with the Ravenclaws. That's going to insufferable, I'm telling you now."

McGonagall swept back up the table, shooing students along and slowly the Great Hall began to empty, students heading off for their first class of the day. The two boys got to their feet, slinging their bags over their shoulders as they headed towards the oak doors.

"Potions is in the dungeons, isn't it?" Their roommate, Benjy Fenwick, asked from behind them and James turned to wait for the rest of the first year Gryffindors to catch up. They walked out into the Entrance Hall and to the Grand Staircase.

"Yeah." Sirius answered, looking around at the bustling student body. "Which means, it's down those stairs there, right?" He nodded to a set of stairs leading down and James led the way over to them.

"Only one way to find out." He said after a moment or two. He inhaled deeply, pulled the strap of his bag tighter across his body and took the first step.

.

Slughorn's classroom was cold when they walked through the door. Slughorn himself was standing in front of a cluster of tall desks and when he noticed them standing at the back of the room watching him, he clapped his hands a few times and beckoned them closer.

"Welcome! Come in! Come in!" A fat, brunette Slytherin girl was standing at the front of the front of the group and she hesitantly took a few steps forward, looking over her shoulder to make sure the others were following her. "Sit down. Sit, sit, sit."

They hesitantly spilled into the room, breaking off and lowering themselves onto stools situated in groups of four around the desks. Sirius went straight for the middle table on the back row and James followed him, dropping his bag onto the table and dropping down onto the stool with a sigh.

"Sorry," a quiet voice said from his left and James turned to see who it was. Lupin stood to a few steps back, his bag strap gripped tightly between his hands and he looked incredibly unsure of himself. "Do you mind if I sit here?"

James shook his head quickly, reaching out to pull his bag in front of him. "No, go ahead."

"Thanks." Lupin said, moving to perch on the edge of the stool. He reached into his bag and pulled out a few sheets of parchment, a quill and some ink.

"No problem." James murmured back, doing the same and poking Sirius when he made no signs of moving beyond sitting down.

After a few minutes of silence as everyone got settled, with Slughorn looking at them carefully, James turned back to Lupin and smiled. "I don't think we got the chance yesterday, but I'm James."

"Remus." Lupin answered, flicking his eyes in James' direction before staring straight ahead of him again.

James eyebrows drew down into a light frown and he tried again. "Where're you from?"

"Caldicot." At James' confused look, Lupin's lips twitched upwards briefly. "It's in Wales."

A look of understanding crossed James' face and he grinned sheepishly. On his other side Sirius snorted.

"Honestly, Potter, didn't your parents teach you anything?" His gaze shifted from James' face to Lupin's and he inclined his head. "I'm Sirius. Ignore him, he was apparently raised in a barn."

"I'm insulted and offended." James exclaimed, winking at Remus, who was looking like he was torn between amusement and finding another seat to sit in. "It was a shed, actually."

Sirius gave a startled laugh and Remus' small smile grew. Slughorn coughed to get everyone's attention.

"Settle down, please." He smiled at them all, his eyes scanning the room until they landed on James. "Ah, young master Potter. It has been a while, hasn't it, dear boy?"

"Yes, sir." James answered dutifully, kicking Sirius under the table when he sniggered into his hand and flushing when most of the class turned around to stare at him. He ignored the hateful glare Snape was sending in his direction from the other side of the room and instead focussed on a spot just over Slughorn's shoulder.

"How's your father? Last I heard he had made Head Auror." Slughorn gushed and James had trouble not squirming at the tone of voice the man used. Like this information was a piece of the rarest gold that must be paraded around for everyone to see and all for personal gain. James hated it.

"Yes, sir." He replied calmly, refusing to make eye contact with Slughorn.

The Potions professor seemed to take the hint because he coughed lightly and shifted his attention onto the group at large. "Yes, well. Potions, eh? Potions is perhaps the most delicate of all subjects, and whilst you are in my classroom, you will exercise the utmost care and consideration."

James' shoulders relaxed from the tension he hadn't realised had built and he shook his head to clear it. A small scrap of parchment appeared in front of him and he stared down at the messy scrawl for a few seconds in confusion until Sirius nudged him.

"You feeling alright there, James?"

James shot a glare in Sirius direction, who merely grinned cheekily in response. He then crossed out the line from Sirius, ignoring the huff of indignation the boy released, and dipped his quill in his ink pot.

"Are you glad you're in Gryffindor?"

He subtly pushed the parchment in Remus' direction and then began making notes as Slughorn rambled on about the importance of respecting Potions as a subject.

Remus blinked at the note a few times before hesitantly scribbling an answer.

"It's not so bad, so far. I'm just glad I'm at Hogwarts at all."

James showed the message to Sirius as discreetly as possible and pulled a face when Sirius raised his eyebrows at him.

"Why wouldn't you be at Hogwarts?"

Remus seemed to realise his mistake because he froze in his chair. He reached for the parchment and furiously dragged his quill across the rough surface.

"I get ill quite a lot. My parents were worried it would mean I couldn't come."

James didn't believe that answer when he saw it. Not completely. There had been something in the way Remus had panicked that told him there was something more to it than the scarred boy was letting on.

"For what it's worth? I'm glad you're here."

The resulting smile that bloomed across Remus' face wiped away any doubts James had had about the last comment and when the brunet looked at him, he smiled encouragingly.

"So am I."

.

Remus, under strict observation from James and Sirius, accompanied the other two boys on their way to Herbology. The Gryffindors stuck together again, but this time Remus joined in with James and Sirius' conversation, however reluctantly. More than once James caught the green eyed boy muttering a comeback to one of Sirius' quips and he began to stare pointedly at him until he said it loud enough for everyone else to hear.

He quickly discovered that Remus was incredibly sarcastic and minutes into their first Herbology lesson, Professor Sprout was frowning at the three of them in disappointment. James bit his lip and ducked his head, remembering the letter that his mother had sent him that morning and the promise he had made her the day before.

"Now, this year you'll be studying Spiky Bushes, Bouncing Bulbs, and Mandrake Roots, to name a few things. I want to stress how important it is that any messing around in the greenhouses will result in detention. The things you will be working with can be extremely volatile and one wrong move can result in injury."

"You hear that, Sirius? One wrong move and you could lose a limb!" James whispered out the side of his mouth and he clamped down on the smile threatening to break free when Sirius let out a huff of laughter.

"Better stop being a pillock, then, eh, Potter?" He whispered back, flashing a grin in James' direction when Sprout turned her back on their side of the room. James pulled a face back and then switched his attention back to the short, stumpy woman who was pulling a few terracotta pots out from under a bench at the front of the room.

"The first thing you'll be looking at this year will be Dried Nettles." Some of the students groaned and she smiled slightly as she turned back around to face them, placing a few of the pots on the table before her. "I know they're not the most exciting plant to study, but they are an incredibly common ingredient in potions. Professor Slughorn has informed me that you'll be studying Swelling Solutions over the next few weeks and we've decided to corroborate our sources, so it's easier for you and a lot less confusing than it has been in the past."

James stopped paying as much attention after that, although he was still half listening to what was being said. His mother had taught him a lot during his childhood and had dedicated at least four hours a day to his learning.

Beside him, Remus was paying rapt attention, seeming to soak up every word that was offered and James couldn't find it in him to break that concentration. Instead, he began flicking pieces of dirt at Sirius, seeing how long it would take for the other boy to either notice or retaliate. It took up until a glob of dirt his cheek and James trying desperately not to laugh, his shoulders heaving in his attempts to keep the noise in for Sirius to realise what he was doing and he turned to him with a glare.

James pointed to his left cheek and Sirius reached up to rub at his own furiously. The dirt smudged across his skin and James couldn't hold his smile back anymore, a snigger breaking free. He tried to muffle it behind his hand, but a giggle broke free and Sprout looked at him disapprovingly again.

"What did I say about misbehaviour, Mister-?" She asked, dirty, gloved hands moving to rest on her hips.

"Potter. Sorry, Professor." He schooled his face and even managed to come across slightly remorseful. Sprout watched him carefully for a few seconds before nodding.

"Alright, just make sure it doesn't happen again."

.

The rest of the day passed extremely quickly, and the group of first year Gryffindors managed to only get lost twice on their way around the enormous castle.

Transfiguration turned out to be exactly what James had always been told it was. McGonagall was stern but fair, and like most of their teachers, she gave them a lecture about how dangerous the subject could be and what she'd do to anyone who broke any of her rules. She also walked them briefly through what they'd be covering over the course of the year, and Remus hesitantly teased both him and Sirius about their enthusiasm when they actively started paying attention.

"It's unlike you to be interested in school work, isn't it?" He asked when they were finally released from McGonagall's classroom. James pulled a face at him and Sirius playfully rolled his eyes.

"I like work just fine, I just prefer it when it isn't really boring." Sirius answered and James nodded slowly in agreement. "Mother's specialty was always Charms and she tried to inflict her wisdom unto her oldest son. She failed, obviously." He grinned, spinning around so he was walking backwards.

"Mum always loved Herbology. Merlin knows why. " James said, glancing over at Remus as they walked down the Transfiguration corridor towards the Grand Staircase. "Dad's always going on about how brilliant Transfiguration is and I suppose some of it must have rubbed off on me."

"What about you?" Sirius asked, switching his attention from James to Remus. The lanky brunet looked taken aback for a second.

"What about me, what?" He asked dumbly and Sirius' lips twitched upwards.

"What subject are you mad for?"

"I suppose Potions doesn't seem so bad. But I think I'm most looking forward to Defence Against the Dark Arts." Both of the other boys raised their eyebrows at him and he ducked his head. "My granddad used to be an Auror and he told me stories all the time. His enthusiasm got to me, I think."

Sirius sighed and turned back around so he was facing the same direction as the other two, falling into step in between them. "I wish we could do Care of Magical Creatures this year. My cousin, Andy, took it all the way up to N.E. and some of the things she said they studied sound amazing."

"Tell you what though," James said as they reached the stairs. They followed a group of second or third years down the short staircase, just getting onto the next floor's landing before the stairs swung upwards. "Herbology looks like it'll be a doddle. My mum taught me this stuff when I was eight."

"It'll get harder, though." A voice from behind them cut in and as one they looked to find Evans standing a few steps up from them.

"Well yeah, I guess." James said and made a face when Evans smiled slightly at him. "It's just going to be really boring for a while first."

"For you, yes. But not all of us grew up around this, you know." Evans pointed out and James blinked a few times. He was about to apologise, not entirely sure for what, but feeling like he should, when Evans continued. "Still, spending a few lessons on stinging nettles seems a bit excessive."

"Stinging what now?" Sirius asked curiously.

"Stinging nettles. You know, because they sting you if you touch them." Evans answered, her brow furrowing when the two Purebloods gave her a blank look. She looked to Remus for support and found him grinning in amusement.

"Why would you touch them if they sting you?" James was clearly confused.

"It's not like you do it on purpose." The girl next to Lily piped up, tucking a strand of curly blonde hair behind her ear. "They're right blighters if you do touch one though."

Sirius turned to James with his eyebrows raised inquiringly. "I say we investigate, Potter."

"Agreed, Black." James nodded his head decisively and they shook hands, sharing a secret grin when the colours sparked up around them, the candlelight flaring orange briefly before settling back down into a pale yellow. They ignored the bemused looks being sent in their direction and instead led the way across the Entrance Hall.

"C'mon, lads." Sirius said, grinning cheekily when both girls made noises of protest. "I don't know about you, but I'm bloody starving."

.

When they finally had time to themselves, it was after the other boys in their dormitory had already gone to bed. The only one who hadn't was Pettigrew, but he had been in the bathroom for close to half an hour and had made no signs of coming out any time soon.

Sirius lay on his bed, staring at the canopy above him and studying the way the crimson changed depending on the angle the light was hitting it from. He turned his head to watch James and looked at the messy black hair spilled out across his pillow.

"Have you got used to it, yet?" He asked quietly, sending a nervous look at the two sound asleep boys across the room.

James shifted, lifting his head out from his pillows and blinking over at Sirius. "Not really." He answered hesitantly. "I've just been too busy to really think about it that much."

Sirius snorted, the sound almost silent but he nodded. "It sounds stupid, I mean I can see colours, but everything's been so hectic today that I kind of pushed it to the back of my mind."

"It's really strange though." James said after a few minutes, flipping onto his back and looking up at the ceiling. "Two days ago, everything was black and white. I didn't even know what my hair colour was. And now here I am, able to tell the difference between the colours of two sodding freckles."

Sirius breathed out a laugh. "I know what you mean. I caught myself staring at the table at dinner because one grain of wood was a different shade to another." He crossed his arms behind his head and tapped his foot against the mattress, his leg bent to point at the headboard. "It's bloody confusing. My family hasn't had someone meet their soul mate in hundreds of years; I have no idea about how this whole thing works."

"And you think I do?" James scoffed softly. "My parents have never told me anything other than that meeting your soul mate is the best thing that ever happens to you. We'll figure it out. There're books and stuff about it. We can't be the only ones."

"S'weird, though, isn't it?" Sirius mumbled. "Two blokes being soul mates."

"It's not common, as far as I know." James returned carefully.

"Doesn't it make us… broken, or something?" Sirius' voice was extremely quiet, as if he was truly afraid of whatever James was going to say next. James breathed out through his nose and ran a hand through his unruly hair before slowly getting to his feet. Sirius watched him pad across the wooden floorboards so he was standing at the side of his friend's bed. Without saying anything, James crawled across the mattress so they were laying face to face on the duvet.

"Not to me." He eventually said and he watched Sirius blink at him a few times, ignoring the wetness that had sprung to the other boy's eyes. After a moment's hesitation, he walked his fingers down Sirius' arm until their hands were almost touching. "You're not broken, Sirius."

"If you say so." He whispered back, unwittingly curling his fingers around James' sweaty palm and he smiled when the green in James' hazel eyes brightened until it was the only colour he could see. His own eyes were still a bit damp and he scrubbed at them with his free hand, letting out a watery laugh when James reached up to grab his wrist. "This is so strange."

"No arguments here."

"Everything's so bright now." Sirius said after a minute, his hands still trapped between James' smaller ones, but he didn't seem to mind and made no move to remove them. "I think that's what shocked me most. Not the colours or anything, but that everything's so bright."

"I know what you mean." James said, shifting around slightly so that he was more comfortable and one of his thumbs stroked gently against Sirius' wrist. The room around them flared every time his skin brushed against Sirius'. "Which colour d'you think's your favourite?"

Sirius didn't hesitate, a large grin spreading across his face. "Red." His foot knocked against James' shin as he moved and he stared at him defiantly when he left it there. "It's so alive."

James frowned lightly, pulling at his bottom lip with his teeth. It was true that having a world that was suddenly not a confusing jumble of differing shades of grey was incredibly overwhelming, and whenever he had a free moment to himself, he marvelled at just how different everything was. But he wouldn't go as far as saying the colours felt alive.

Sirius noticed the frown and furrowed his eyebrows, his head tilting to the side. "What?"

"Nothing." He said distractedly, only focussing his attention back on Sirius when there was a sharp prod to his chest. He turned the frown on the other boy.

"What's wrong, Potter?" Sirius asked exasperatedly, poking him in the chest again for good measure when it looked like he was going to deny it again.

"I think there might be something wrong with me." He muttered and then his lips quirked upwards in an ironic smile. "Looks like you're not the one who's broken." His tone was joking, but Sirius heard the slight quiver that he did his best to hide with a small laugh.

"Shut up." Sirius said, slightly angry. "There's nothing wrong with you." James didn't say anything and Sirius huffed. "Just tell me what's wrong, idiot."

"You said the colours felt alive to you, right?" He asked and Sirius gave a jerky nod of the head.

"Yeah."

"What do you mean by that?" Sirius bit his lip and looked up at the canopy as he thought of a way to answer.

"I don't know how to explain it. It's like, the colours themselves seem to, I don't know, pulse?" He looked at the blank expression on James' face and tucked his bottom lip under his teeth. "You don't get that?"

James shook his head, giving Sirius an apologetic look when a flash of hurt passed over his features. "I do, I think. Just, not to the extent that you do."

Sirius raised an eyebrow, silently signalling him to expand and James swallowed quickly.

"I get flashes of colours pulsing, but it's not a constant thing. We have to be touching, most of the time." Sirius pursed his lips thoughtfully and then cracked a small smile.

"Maybe you have more than one." He suggested, the smile morphing into a grin at the confused look on James' face.

"More than one, what?"

"Soul mate." He expected James to laugh with him, and when the other boy gave him a brief look of panic, he reached out and wrapped his slender fingers gently around James' wrist.

"But, I –" James stuttered. "I – I don't want anyone else." He said firmly after a while and Sirius stared at him in shock. "I don't. I have you, and I didn't even think I'd get that. I think I could be happy like this."

"I-." Sirius paused and blinked slowly. He let a long breath and then tried again. "Like you said yesterday, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. If this is all you want, then so be it." He lifted his arm up and rubbed James' shoulder reassuringly.

"Thank you." James said lowly, brushing his fingers against Sirius' in a gentle stroke. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. He made to move off of the bed, intending to go back to his own, but Sirius' hand on his shoulder tightened and he stopped moving.

"Don't…" He said, sniffed and rolled his eyes before opening his mouth again. "Just stay here." He tugged James back down onto the mattress and absolutely did not snuggle closer to the warm body in front of him as he relaxed into the duvet.

.

Peter stood just inside the door, his mouth hanging open as he stared at the two lumps on Black's bed. He edged into the room carefully, trying to avoid making any noise and freezing when he banged his knee against the trunk at the end of his bed. When none of the other boys in the room made any sign of being awake, let alone hearing him curse softly, he let out a relieved sigh and scrambled into bed.

As he settled into his pillows, his mind wandered back to the conversation he'd just overheard. He felt himself grow cold at the thought of two people he was going to be sharing a dorm with for the next seven years being 'fairies' as his mother called them. If she found out he'd be sharing breathing space with a pair of poofs, she'd have a fit.

He hadn't spent much time with either of them as they'd been too wrapped up in each other, and occasionally Lupin and Evans; something which suddenly made a lot more sense than it had earlier. But he had liked them well enough and they'd seemed like decent enough people, if a bit too willing to mess about for Peter's tastes.

He lifted his head enough to look over at the two boys lying curled against each other, their legs tangled together and their heads pressed close together. Sirius had wrapped himself around James' arm and the bespectacled boy had his other arm across the Sirius' shoulders.

"I'm not going anywhere near them from now on." He silently swore to himself, barely resisting the urge to cross himself. His mother had instilled the fear of God into him as a child and he had no desire to become infected by their vile behaviour. He glared over at them even though they couldn't see him and then flopped backwards with a sigh.

His eyes started to droop and he buried himself under his blankets, curling up into a tight ball. He felt a twinge of regret over losing two potential friends, but his desire to stay untainted by them overruled any other feelings he had. Peter fell asleep to the promise that come the morning he wouldn't have anything to do with them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. I'm actually on time for once with an update, what is this sorcery? Shorter chapter than usual, so apologies for that, but the mind writes what it wants.
> 
> Warnings: mild homophobia which, as previously stated, I don't agree with in the slightest.

The next morning, Peter woke up before any of the others and had already disappeared for breakfast by the time the other four boys had dragged themselves out of bed. If Remus or Benjy had any opinion of the two black haired boys being in the same bed, they didn't show it.

Sirius was worried that James would be awkward about the whole thing and would wake up to regret it. But the sleepy smile he got when he opened his eyes told him he needn't have bothered working up the energy.

"Morning." James said, his voice croaky from lack of use and Sirius grinned back. James reached out to grope for his glasses, and frowned slightly when he couldn't find them. He sat up, careful to avoid dislodging Sirius too much, and looked around the room in search of his glasses. He fisted at his face with a hand, trying to remove some of the sleep dust gathered in the corners of his eyes.

"Good morning." Sirius replied, shoving James away from him when he gave no indication of moving. He glanced over at the clock on his bedside table and made a shooing motion with both of his hands when he was glared at fiercely. "We've got just over an hour until we need to be –. What do we have first?"

"Defence Against the Dark Arts." Remus supplied helpfully as he sat on the edge of his bed so he could pull a pair of socks on.

"Right. Defence." Sirius said, rolling off of the mattress and landing gracefully on both feet. He picked a pair of trousers up off the floor and gave James a pointed look. "And I am hungry, so if you would–" He nodded at the other boy's trunk and that seemed to kick James into action because he shook his head to clear it.

.

When they reached the Great Hall, twenty minutes later, and were sitting down at the Gryffindor table, Remus cast a quick, worried look in Peter's direction. He'd scooted further down the bench when James had made to sit next to him and had only stopped fidgeting when Benjy had planted himself between them.

James shrugged it off, and plopped himself down next to Sirius. The two of them immediately started to fight over the plate of sausages in front of them, breaking into laughter when their forks collided and rebounded off of each other. Opposite them, Evans watched their antics with barely concealed amusement, refusing to be drawn into when she expertly avoided both of their attacks to stab a sausage and drop it onto her plate. McKinnon either wasn't quick enough, or she'd decided to join in because soon the three of them were giggling amongst themselves as they battled over various plates and platters of food.

Peter watched them through narrowed eyes, chewing frantically on his scrambled eggs. He finished before they did and immediately sprang to his feet, slinging his tatty bag across his shoulders and hurrying out of the Hall. Remus watched him go with a frown and then sighed heavily, picking up his own bag and shoving a slice of buttered toast into his mouth inelegantly.

"I'll go and see what's wrong with him." He said when he'd swallowed his bite of toast. The others nodded and after promising to find them in time for Defence Against the Dark Arts, he wandered out of the Hall.

Finding Peter wasn't as difficult as Remus had feared. He'd barely got through the doors into the Entrance Hall before he saw the shorter boy sitting on the bottom step of the Grand Staircase, his head clasped in his hands and his fingers pulling at his hair every few seconds. Remus approached him slowly, careful not to scare him off and he lowered himself down next to him when Peter made no sign of moving.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked kindly after a couple of seconds of silence and he heard the other boy sniff a few times.

"It's not me that has something wrong with them." He answered, not noticing Remus stiffen beside him.

"So what's wrong?" Remus hedged instead, careful to keep the tremor out of his voice.

"I don't want to go to school with people like that." Peter snarled and Remus was taken aback. The usually quiet boy hadn't said a bad word against anyone, and that included Avery, who had spent the entirety of their Potions lesson making obscene gestures at them across the dimly lit classroom whenever Slughorn's back had been turned.

"Who're you on about?" The question seemed to break Peter out of his anger for a moment, because he blinked quickly and looked around the room. Seeing that there were a number of other students around, he sighed and fiddled with his bag strap distractedly.

"I'm fine." He said instead of answering and it did nothing to calm Remus' nerves, but he offered the other boy a small smile.

"If you're sure." Remus said after a moment's silence.

The others poured out of the Great Hall and McKinnon spotted them first, pointing them out to the others and stalking over to them. Laughter surrounded them as they tried to find their Charms classroom, only getting lost once because Benjy turned down a corridor one too early.

As they traipsed along the Defence Against the Dark Arts corridor, Peter pushed to the front of the group when James and Sirius started a conversation with Remus. Sirius stared after him before turning to Remus with an eyebrow raised in question.

"Did you find out what was wrong with him?" He asked, darting around a cluster of third years and ending up in front of them. He looked over his shoulder as he waited for an answer.

"Not really. He wasn't making any sense." Remus replied, his lips twitching when Sirius scoffed.

"When does he ever? Don't worry about it." He said, breezing into the classroom after his fellow Gryffindors. He walked passed Peter, either ignoring or not noticing the other boy flinch away from him, and dropped his bag onto the desk. James and Remus followed, arranging themselves so that James was sitting in the middle.

"Good morning, everyone!" Professor Merrythought called as he walked towards his own desk, a pile of books cradled in his arms. He set them down and looked at his students with a smile. "Now, I'm sure you're all tired of hearing it, and if you're not now, you will be by the end of the week. Over the course of the next year, we'll be studying a myriad of things. Starting with…"

.

The next time Remus had a chance to talk to Peter was after dinner that evening. They were sat in their dorm room, working on the small piece of homework that Flitwick had given them, the other three boys down in the Common Room doing Transfiguration homework with the girls.

"So," Remus said, glancing up from the parchment resting on his knee to look at the shorter boy. "What happened earlier?"

Peter paused, his quill poised just above his inkwell and he looked up, blinking in confusion. "What? What do you –?" Understanding blossomed across his face and he flushed slightly. "It's nothing."

"Clearly it's not nothing if it's troubling you this much. Look, I –." Remus cut himself off, coughing slightly before continuing. "I'd like to think I'm your friend, Peter, or at least, that I could be your friend, if you'd let me. I'm worried about you and my mum always told me that it's best not to keep things to yourself, otherwise you'll reach a point where you can't take it anymore and explode."

Peter gaped at him for almost a full minute before he broke out into a happy smile. "You want to be my friend? Truly?"

Remus gave a small laugh, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck. "Yeah, I would. And I know the others would too."

The smile dropped from Peter's face and he went back to his homework. "I don't want to be friends with them. I shan't be friends with them."

"But why not?" When he didn't get an answer, Remus put down his Charms book carefully and padded across the space between their beds so he could sit on the edge of the mattress. "Why not, Peter?"

"Because they're poofs!" Peter burst out, snapping his mouth shut in shock. Remus' eyes widened and he stared at the boy in front of him.

"How can you know that?" He asked, shifting his weight and closing his eyes for a few seconds. "How could you possibly know that?"

"They're soul mates." Peter said quickly, apparently glad that he didn't have to keep it in anymore. "I –. I heard them talking yesterday, after you'd gone to sleep. They're soul mates. With each other. They can see colours, Remus."

To say Remus was shocked would have been an understatement and his mind was reeling. He thought of all the little things they'd done over the past few days that had seemed odd to him; pointing at the banners in the Common Room the first time they'd stepped through the portrait hole, literally laughing at the table at dinner and staring at each other's eyes when they thought no one else was looking. He hadn't really thought anything of it at the time, just that the two of them had clicked extremely quickly, but now that he reflected on it, their being soul mates actually made sense. What he didn't understand was why Peter was clearly panicking about it.

"Good for them." He said after about five minutes' silence. Peter gaped across at him, his nostrils flaring and his brows furrowing low over his eyes.

"How can you think that?! They're poofs." He exclaimed angrily, his face flushing a pale pink and Remus looked at him in confusion.

"You don't know that."

"How can they not be? They're soul mates. Soul mates always fall in love and get married, my mum said so." Peter countered, his voice quieter now although still angry.

"That can't possibly be true." Remus tried to point out, but Peter shook his head and effectively cut off any further arguments. "Look, even if they are soul mates, it doesn't mean anything. Well, obviously it means something, but it doesn't mean they're gay."

Peter sighed heavily and dejectedly, clearly annoyed that Remus wasn't agreeing with him. "Maybe you're right. But my mum says that if you're queer you go to hell, and if you're friends with one then you go too."

Remus kept his response to that to himself and barely resisted rolling his eyes. Instead, he twisted his lips into some semblance of a smile and shrugged. "Perhaps she's right, but you can't just condemn someone when you don't even know if what you think is true."

Peter nodded slowly and relaxed slightly, the tightness in his shoulders loosening. "I'll try." He plucked at his sheets of parchment and licked his lips. "I'm sorry, Remus."

"It's alright. I'm not saying you have to be best friends with them or anything, but they've noticed the way you've been acting and they're getting worried."

"I still don't think I want to talk to them. Not yet, anyway."

"You don't have to." Remus replied, getting to his feet and stretching his arms above his head, smiling in satisfaction as his joints popped back into place. "Just stop treating them like they have the plague. I know they can be… overwhelming… but they are still human."

"I know." Peter mumbled, embarrassed at the way he'd reacted, even though he hadn't changed his mind about it. He scrubbed a hand over his face and yawned.

"Even if they are soul mates, it's not like they asked for it. It's not like they met on the train and just decided that they wanted to be soul mates or anything." Remus paused and then let out a small laugh. "Actually, knowing them, they probably would have."

Peter smiled back unwittingly and then frowned at himself.

"I know you don't like it, but you're probably not the only one. Think about how they must have felt when they first found out."

.

"He thinks you're gay." Remus breathed out the next morning. Despite his promise to try and be civil, Peter had once again woken up before the others and had disappeared down to breakfast before any of them had even contemplated getting out of bed.

James, who had been awake for approximately three minutes, blinked up at him dazedly. He groped for his glasses and tutted at himself when he put them on and noticed the large smudge he'd created across the left lens. "He what now?"

"Peter. The reason he's been acting strangely. He thinks you're gay." Remus didn't mention the idea of them being soul mates. It was their business, and if they wanted anyone to know about it, they'd tell them.

Sirius spluttered from underneath his shirt, his head poking out a second later and he frowned. "Why the bloody hell would he think that?" He shared a confused, yet slightly panicked look with James which confirmed Remus' suspicions.

"That's stupid." James agreed, wrestling to get a sock on his foot.

"I think it's mostly his mum talking. Most of the time he was speaking, his mum was somehow involved in what he was saying, so I don't think he really believes it."

"Funny that." Sirius muttered, leaning across his bed so he could grab his wand and shove it into his trouser pocket. He then got to his feet and smiled. "Right then, I don't know about you but I am starving."

"When aren't you?" James asked dryly, clapping Remus on the shoulder as he headed for the door. "Say, Remus, did you do that homework for McGonagall?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Second month in a row with an on-time update. Madness. I feel this is an appropriate chapter for April Fools Day, and I promise I didn't plan it.

It was Halloween before Peter could speak to either of them in cohesive sentences and the interim was filled with awkward half conversations that neither party knew how to work past. Remus was often stuck as the go-between; something he wouldn't have expected, but whenever Peter needed a message passed on to the other two, he asked Remus to do it.

A few nights before the thirty-first, the entire house gathered in the Common Room and Mark Lawrence, one of the seventh year Prefects, grinned at them across one of the coffee tables, backlit by the fire roaring behind him.

"Right, kids, most of you know why we're here." The group except for the first years nodded and he laughed. "For you firsties, it's tradition for us Gryffindors to prank the entire school on Halloween."

James and Sirius turned to grin at each other excitedly. "Brilliant." James breathed into Sirius' ear and the other boy nodded.

"Each year is given the responsibility of their own prank, and usually we spend the rest of the year coming up with next year's pranks. Obviously that hasn't been the case this time." There had been Death Eater attacks on the Ministry in April, where a small number of officials had been killed in the raids, and they fell silent for a minute.

"That means that this year we have a very limited amount of time to come up with something. We've gathered you here so that we can bounce ideas around." Carol Edwards, one of the sixth years said, stepping forwards and smiling. "Chances are, the other houses aren't going to be anticipating it this year, which means we have the element of surprise."

"There's only so much you can do when they're expecting something to happen." Mark said morosely, before smirking. "We have four days until Halloween, and the first Hogsmeade trip is taking place on Saturday. The plan is to have everyone's pranks sorted before then, so that if anything is needed, you can get it on the day."

The room burst into excited noise and James and Sirius couldn't stop grinning at each other.

"Enough chatter." Carol said, clapping her hands together before planting them on her hips. "The sixth and seventh years already have an idea of what they're going to do, and no we're not going to tell you what it is right now. Does anyone have any suggestions for what they want to do?"

Sirius, who had been running ideas through his head ever since they'd said each year was in charge of their own prank, slowly raised his hand and stepped forwards. "I think I might." He said, his lips curling up into a cheeky smile and his eyes lighting up with the promise of mischief.

.

Halloween morning arrived with a light sprinkling of snow, something that the teachers were groaning about the moment they looked out of their windows. The castle and its students seemed to buzz with excitement the entire day and the Gryffindors started the festivities early. Sirius' idea had been eagerly accepted and the first call of business had required the seventh years' help. It was difficult to keep the laughter to a minimum when the rest of the school expressed confusion as to why there was no post, and it was even more difficult when the older years in other houses began to look at their table with suspicion.

From the head table, Dumbledore watched his students' antics in amusement, his eyes twinkling merrily at the Gryffindors' barely concealed laughter. Beside him McGonagall hid her smile behind the newspaper she'd arranged to be delivered to her quarters after rumour of the owls being tampered with had spread amongst the portraits.

The rest of the school had just about settled back down and were beginning to go about getting themselves breakfast when the sixth years' idea came into play. They'd spent the past week using one of Slughorn's practice Potions classrooms to brew and perfect one particular potion. It had taken them close to three days to convince the House Elves in the kitchens to sneak the potion into the supply of pumpkin juice that morning, and the deciding factor had been written permission from Professor Dumbledore himself.

The first student affected by the potion was a third year from Ravenclaw, who swallowed a mouthful of pumpkin juice as everyone else was worrying about the lack of post from the owls. It took them a few minutes to notice that his hair had changed from its usual black to startling white (or dark brown to bright blue for James and Sirius), and the only reason anyone even turned to look at him was because a few second year Gryffindors began snickering behind their hands.

A few of the smarter students figured out what they had done and quickly warned their friends not to drink the pumpkin juice, but by that point it was largely too late and soon the entire Great Hall was filled with people shrieking over their hair changing colour. Carol and her friends had been careful though, and knowing that someone would figure it out, had also convinced the House Elves to pour a small dose of the potion over the food as well.

To Sirius' great delight, the Slytherins had largely gotten the end of the stick and their hair had become varying shades crimson and gold, courtesy of a sixth year who was able to see colours. She'd grinned as she'd explained that not knowing what colour their hair was going to be wouldn't be a problem, and even though the vast majority of Gryffindor was colour blind, it hadn't taken away from their enjoyment.

When the first Slytherin let out a horrified shriek, Sirius turned to James with a grin and pointed over to Bellatrix. "Bloody brilliant, eh? Carol told me that there're a few Slytherins that have met their soul mates, so her finding out what we've done isn't going to be a problem."

"Are you sure you should be this happy about it?" James asked with a matching grin, spooning scrambled eggs into his mouth and chewing thoughtfully.

"Of course I should." Sirius brushed it off with a snort. "Bella's going to be bloomin' furious, and she always makes an idiot of herself when she is."

"She's going to know you had something to do with it, though." James pointed out, moving his arm out of the way so that Remus could slide the last two rashers of bacon onto his plate.

"Oh, I know." He said gleefully, leaning his elbows on the table and resting his chin in his hands. "But she can't exactly do anything when McGonagall herself is on board, now can she?" He paused and furrowed his brow slightly. "Well, maybe she will, but if she does anything to me specifically, her parents will murder her for bringing shame to the family name. So all in all, she can stuff it."

.

The first years' plan didn't come into effect until that evening, so the rest of the day was spent eagerly anticipating everyone else's pranks. James would never admit it out loud, but his favourite had most definitely been the seventh years' prank. They'd been planning to do it at dinner, but Sirius' idea had taken priority, to cause optimum unsettlement, and so had been shifted to lunch time. Which, in James' opinion, had been an excellent idea, because they'd spent most of the morning doing Transfiguration homework in the library and by one o'clock he was bored out of his mind.

Lunch time snuck up on them accompanied by excited laughter from the Gryffindors and anxious chatter from the rest of the school, both students and professors alike. They had all settled down to eat, and most people were on the second course; small bowls of uncountable flavours of ice cream, when it happened.

It started small, a few tea spoons rattling slightly against the tables, the noise so low that nobody noticed them moving. It wasn't until the first spoon stood up on one end and began to frantically shake that anybody paid attention to what was starting to happen. The poor, unsuspecting individual to first see what was going on, was a fourth year Hufflepuff, who had had a spoonful of sugar grasped in one hand as they were making a cup of tea. The sugar ended up all over both the table and the fourth year's lap, and the surrounding group had stared in a mixture of shock and horror as the cutlery, increasing in size and vigour, began to rise and shake.

A shriek sounded from the Ravenclaw table and the Gryffindors bit down their laughter as they watched the first of the plates join in with the violent shaking. The food that had been on them had been charmed to levitate a few feet above the students, and as the food began to slowly rise upwards, James and Sirius took great amusement from the look on Snape's face as his lunch rose in front of his face.

Soon the entire hall, save for the Head table and the Gryffindor table, had cutlery and tableware that was shaking frantically, tiny bits of food flying off of plates and landing in mushy piles on the tables. The younger students began panicking, although they calmed down slightly when seeing their elders' reactions and saw the teachers smiling behind their hands.

After about five minutes; James had been having too much fun to really pay attention to how long it took, the plates that had once had food on them levitated up after their respective meals. They slowly joined together again, careful not to spill any and then quickly zoomed back down towards the table. Inches before they collided with the tables, they paused and then gently landed on the wood.

The stunned looks on everyone's faces was too much for the group of Gryffindors, and after Carol Edwards sniggered into her fist, the dams seemed to break. The entire table erupted into fits of giggles and whistles, students from different years turning in their seats to applaud each other. The Hall echoed with the sounds of their high spirits and congratulations.

Soon after the Hufflepuffs got over their shock, they joined in with the laughter and merriment, reaching out across the benches to congratulate them on a prank well pulled. Sirius, from his seat next to the same burly red head from the Welcoming Feast, heard one Hufflepuff ask in a hushed whisper how they'd managed to convince the House Elves to help in their shenanigans and he grinned when they didn't get an answer.

The Ravenclaws eventually shook themselves out of their stupor, and the more academic of their house ventured over to the Gryffindor table. The majority of their conversations consisted of wondering about the amount of spellwork that must have gone into the planning and preparation of the prank. The more creative students sat themselves down next to the orchestrators, who had stood up to take a quick bow, and were asking about the hows of the idea. How had they come up with it? How had they gone about organising it?

James looked around with a pleased smile, a swell of satisfaction bubbling in his stomach, and a quick glance at Sirius told him the other boy felt it too. They grinned at each other, thumping each other on the back a few times and then Sirius turned to survey the room, his grin growing when he spotted Narcissa.

She hadn't been as lucky as most of the others. Whilst the sixth years had promised to make all of the tables act more or less the same, there had been an unspoken agreement that the Slytherin table would be subjected to slightly more chaotic behaviour. It was, in James' opinion, fair. Earlier that week, Bellatrix's boyfriend and a few of his mates had cornered a second year Muggleborn and put him in the Hospital Wing, where he was still, slowly recovering from a nastily broken arm and slight concussion. It had never been explicitly proven that they were responsible, but their sneers and sniggered laughter at Dumbledore's announcement the day after it had happened were enough for most of the school body.

The fact the second year had been the younger cousin of a fifth year Gryffindor had factored into it. Gryffindor, Sirius had quickly learnt, was a house that looked after its own and protected each other with a fierceness he hadn't really been expecting. It was partly why he was so amused at what had happened to Narcissa. Although she wasn't his least favourite cousin, she had never been openly nice to him, and he knew that her fiancée, whilst keeping up appearances of a caring Prefect, had actively encouraged a few of the attacks against Muggleborns over the past few weeks.

Narcissa looked utterly disgusted as she wiped a hand over her pale cheek, a look of revulsion marring her features as she pulled her hand away and discovered a small lump of gravy smeared on her finger tip. Sirius snorted as she ducked her head and frantically began to rub at her cheek, periodically checking her fingers to see if the gravy was gone.

"They're all as bad as each other." He muttered to James when his friend looked at him oddly. "She's always been the vainest out of my cousins. Case in point." He then motioned to Bellatrix, who was sat fuming a few seats down from her sister. There was ice cream on her robes and in her hair, which she was making no attempt to remove and her eyes scanned the Gryffindor table angrily. When she finally caught sight of him, she narrowed her eyes dangerously and Sirius didn't miss the way her fingers flexed towards the pocket he knew she kept her wand in.

The teachers made a valiant attempt to calm their students down, vanishing large amounts of the mess and reassuring the younger children that it was just a joke. Dumbledore watched the Gryffindor table with a slight smile and quickly got to his feet in order to wrap the meal up.

"Well, now that we've had our afternoon entertainment in the form of some extremely impressive spellwork from Gryffindor, I suggest that you all return to your Common Rooms. It is Halloween, after all, and who knows what this evening might bring." There would be debates about it for weeks afterwards, but James was convinced Dumbledore winked at them after he finished speaking.

That afternoon, Gryffindor was preparing the event that would happen at dinner. Whilst the rest of the school relaxed, the sixth and seventh years gathered in the abandoned Owlery and got to work, coaxing a few owls down at a time and attaching thick, red envelopes to their legs.

Meanwhile, the first years were all gathered in the boys' dormitory, sheets of red parchment spread out across every mattress. A few of the second years relaxed on Peter's bed, keeping a close eye on what they were doing and contributing only when necessary, otherwise occupied with Defence Against the Dark Arts homework.

James and Sirius sat on James' bed, a collection of folded parchment piled up on one side, and a few blank sheets were balanced on their knees. On the bed next to them, Remus and Peter were patiently slipping folded letters into envelopes, with Fenwick and McKinnon opposite them, meticulously addressing each envelope that was passed to them. Evans and Dorcas alternated between all three jobs, depending on who needed the most help, and would pass the letters to the second years every now and then for them to work on.

Sirius finished writing one letter with a flourish, sighing as he set his quill down on a piece of blotting parchment next to him. He stretched his arms above his head, smirking at the disgusted noise James made when his shoulders popped loudly. He picked up the small pile of parchment in front of him and then gingerly got to his feet, careful to avoid jostling James, who was still midway through writing. When he was standing up, the boy on the bed gave him a quick, grateful smile, which he returned. It dropped from his face as he turned around and padded across the space between his own bed and the one Remus and Peter were sitting on.

"Here." He said gruffly, holding his hand out to Remus. The scarred boy had his hands full with trying to fold a piece of parchment neatly in half and he shook his head, a quill clamped between his teeth. Peter looked up from what he had been doing, a slight grimace crossing his face quickly and then he lurched off of the mattress, reaching out to take the letters from Sirius.

"Thanks." He said softly, offering a small smile as his fingers curled around the letters. Sirius, so surprised to be on the receiving end of anything other than contempt, blinked at him a few times, his mouth working slightly as he tried to get words out.

In the end he settled with a muttered, "You're welcome." before hurrying back over to James' bed.

.

As the afternoon wore on and slowly dissolved into night, conversation between James, Sirius and Peter slowly got easier. The first time Peter snorted at something that came out of James' mouth, Remus physically dropped his quill into his lap, splotching ink all over the parchment resting on his leg. He quickly recovered, dumping the quill next to him and getting ink on his sock, smiling gratefully when one of the second years cleaned the parchment of the still wet ink.

Although their conversation never went further than 'could you pass me the-?', Remus found himself slowly hoping that his three friends would be able to work out their differences. Not that what had been going on with Peter was their fault, but they hadn't exactly been helping the situation with the fact that they were always touching each other in some way. He'd have found it odd that they were always clapping each other on the back, hooking their feet around each other's ankles when they were sat down for extended periods of time, or tapped each other on the wrist incessantly, if he hadn't known about their being soul mates.

Peter had had difficulty coming to terms with it, and although he found it incredibly stupid at times – how someone could so staunchly believe one person's beliefs, he didn't know – he could partly understand. He had outright refused to so much as look in their direction for a few weeks after he and Remus had spoken, and even after that it had taken him almost a week longer to work up to the idea of talking to them. The fact that he was now holding conversations, albeit small ones that were more idle chatter than anything, was enough to make Remus want to cry. Being stuck between the two opposing sides had not been fun, especially with James and Sirius demanding every other day to know what they'd done wrong that day to make him hate them.

The entire house went down to dinner at six o'clock, arriving in a massive flock of people that took a few minutes to fit through the doors to the Great Hall. A few six years had stayed in the Owlery all day, tying every new batch of letters that were run down by several groups of excitable third years to the owls' legs and they arrived a few minutes after their housemates, their cheeks flushed from both the cold outside and the fact they'd run back to the castle.

The first years were arranged in the middle of the table, those that they'd spent the afternoon working with spread out around them. The other houses, who had been wary before, were outright cautious now, glancing across the room every few seconds to reassure themselves that nothing was happening behind them.

James grinned at Sirius as they sat down, brushing his fingers against the other boy's wrist as he reached for some mashed potato with a spoon clenched in his fist. His spoon almost clattered to the table when Peter sat down next to him as if it was the most natural thing in the world, Remus lowering himself onto the bench beside him. He offered a bemused smile and then focussed on serving himself a lot of roast potatoes, ladling an almost obscene amount of gravy on top.

"I'm sorry." Peter whispered, pushing a few peas around on his plate and refusing to look up from the table.

"What?" James asked dumbly, a fork laden with carrots halfway to his mouth. Sirius slowly put his cutlery down and turned to look at the shorter boy sharply, waiting for an answer.

"I said, I'm sorry. For the way I've been behaving over the past few weeks." He flushed guiltily and lifted his head up to meet James' eyes.

"I –. That's –." James floundered for a few seconds. Sirius rolled his eyes and met Peter's gaze head on.

"You've been an arse." He said calmly, watching the flush on Peter's cheeks grow and ignoring the look that James was sending in his direction.

"I know." He said quietly, looking down at his hands again. "I know, and I'm sorry."

"We didn't even know what we were supposed to have done, Peter." Sirius continued. "You can't just treat us like that and then expect us to forgive you, you know."

"I'm don't expect you to forgive me. You're right. I was being an arse, and I am extremely sorry." Remus was watching them over the top of Peter's head, and he shot them a pleading look, worried that his hopes weren't going to be realised.

"Yeah, well." James said at last, elbowing Sirius in the ribs and shutting him up. "Just make sure you don't do it again, yeah?"

"I –. Yes, of course." Peter stuttered, giving them a timid smile that James responded to by grinning and clapping him on the back.

.

That had been the end of that, and they had eventually settled into a conversation about Quidditch. James was a strong supporter of the Tutshill Tornadoes, and spent the best part of ten minutes commiserating with Remus about their recent games. It had soon come to their attention that they had a traitor in their midst as Peter was an avid fan of the Falmouth Falcons, a sore spot for James and Remus as their team's most recent match had been lost to them.

Opposite them, Evans watched their argument in amusement, butting in every now and then with questions about the sport she hadn't yet been able to watch. It was as James and Sirius were trying to explain the principle of Stooging that their entire day's work came into effect.

The owls, who had been so glaringly absent at breakfast, swooped into the Great Hall in one large group. The rest of the school stared up in wonder as the birds flew around them, dropping scarlet envelopes wherever they could, not having particular individuals to deliver their mail to.

A few of the more troublesome students flinched away from the letters, covering their ears and glancing around nervously. The first Howler to go off was one addressed to Dumbledore, who merely smiled when the smoking parchment dropped into his lap. The Hall fell silent as the echoing voice of Marlene McKinnon rang out.

"PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE, SIR! I WOULD JUST LIKE TO BE THE FIRST ONE TO TELL YOU ON THIS FINE HALLOWEEN, THAT YOU HAVE A MAGNIFICENT BEARD!"

Most of the students dissolved into giggles and from the looks of it, the majority of the staff were also trying to hide their amusement behind their hands. James watched McGonagall's lips twitch a few times before she managed to rein herself in, her face unnaturally calm. He counted it as a success, and reached out around his fellow first years for high fives.

After that, Howlers went off in a cacophony of noise; the messages, for the most part, eliciting laughs from those that they had been delivered to.

James cracked up at one that had been dropped in front of a stoic looking Hufflepuff that had to have been at least fifth year. Sirius' voice had shouted "YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY RAVISHING TODAY, DEAR!" and that was all it took for James to laugh so hard he had tears streaming from his eyes, chest heaving as he tried to draw in breath. He started again when Sirius winked at the Hufflepuff in question and began chuckling when the teenager had flushed in embarrassment.

There were also some not so nice that had been delivered to a few certain Slytherins, although for the most part they were the same sort of messages. Sirius, his cheeks aching from laughing so much, managed a weakly satisfied smile when the Howler James had addressed to Bellatrix screamed out, in neither of their voices.

"YOU'RE AN EMBARRASSMENT TO THE NAME 'BLACK'! YOU OUGHT TO BE DISOWNED AND SENT OFF TO LIVE WITH MUGGLES, JUST TO TEACH YOU A LESSON!" James hadn't meant anything that he'd written, although Sirius was slow in seeing what the problem was, and he turned to apologise to Evans.

She waved him off with a small smile. "Don't worry about it, Potter. From what I've seen, she deserves it, and a lot worse too. Besides, look at her face."

They turned as one, the both of them, to see Bellatrix staring at the smoking remains of her personal Howler in shock. Her eyebrows were creased and drawn tight across the bridge of her nose. Beside her, Narcissa was whispering quickly into her ear, and the longer she spoke, the calmer Bellatrix seemed to get. When she had visibly calmed down, although her white knuckled fists told them she was still furious, she glared across the room at Sirius and then mouthed something. Sirius, who had no idea what she was trying to say to him, although knowing it wouldn't be good, merely grinned cheekily at her and offered her a jaunty wave that only seemed to anger her again.

.

When they had all settled into bed that night, Sirius grinned across the space between his and James' bed, mischief dancing in his eyes.

"James," he whispered, aware that both Remus and Peter were also awake and listening. "I had a lot of fun today, you know."

"I had a vague idea." James answered dryly, turning to lie on his side so he could grin back with hurting his neck with the effort.

"Ha ha." Sirius said, pulling a face. He sat up and looked over at Remus, shaking his head at his friend's poor attempt at feigning sleep. "No, but. I had a lot of fun. So much fun, in fact, that I think we should do that kind of thing more often."

James sat up slowly, a slight frown on his face. "You want to do that again?"

"Yeah, why not?" Sirius asked, swivelling around to look at James again. "It was fun, wasn't it? I mean, we didn't hurt anyone, not really, and everyone got a laugh out of it."

James nodded thoughtfully and crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, alright. Why not?"

"Are you two twats in as well?" Sirius questioned, snorting when they gave him startled looks. "What? You didn't think I believed you were asleep, did you? Because if you did, we are going to desperately need to work on that."

It was unanimously decided that the fun they'd had over the course of the day was reason enough to want to do it on a regular basis, and James grinned around a mouthful of chocolate frog he'd been eating in celebration. "We're going to be the best, you know."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I am so sorry this took so long to get out. The chapter was all ready to go on the first, and then I accidentally broke my laptop. Because it was a bank holiday weekend when I broke it, they couldn't send anyone out to get it until last Tuesday and even then they didn't fix it until Friday. I only got it back today because they don't deliver on weekends.
> 
> I don't know when the next chapter will be up. I've caught up to what I already had written and university is going to be really busy this year - final year means dissertation and that's a terrifying thought. I've got the beginnings of chapter seven written and I'll try and work on it when I can, but I don't promise anything.

The four first year boys had spent the past month working on their sneaking skills, much to Remus' frustration and he protested their misbehaviour at any given opportunity. He never, however, outright refused to go along with them and his protests were always half-hearted at best. Something that James and Sirius pointed out whenever they could because it meant that he'd stop complaining for a while.

It took James over a month to get his first detention, and when he was later asked what had happened, he wholeheartedly blamed Sirius. Sirius, who had also been given detention at the same time, vehemently denied it was his fault and pointed the blame at James. It was, according to Remus, both of their faults and if they hadn't been acting like a pair of five year olds, they wouldn't have got caught.

They had been trying to find their way to the kitchens, which wasn't easy when your house's living space was on the seventh floor of the castle and your destination was somewhere on the first. They had spent a few days slowly working their way down the floors, memorising both Filch and the Prefects' patrolling route and James had scoffed when he'd realised that they didn't bother to change them.

"Honestly, what kind of idiot doesn't think that someone might figure it out?" He muttered as they dodged a pair of sixth years and snuck out onto the fifth floor landing. They'd hurried down two flights of stairs before Sirius answered him.

"Whilst undoubtedly idiotic, why, exactly, Potter, are you complaining?" James pulled a face at him and led the way through the door leading to the Defence corridor in order to avoid Mrs Norris, Filch's nasty kitten. He kept the door open a crack to watch her slowly work her way up to the fourth floor, and only when she'd disappeared from view completely did he step back out onto the Grand Staircase.

"I'm not. I'm just saying that it seems incredibly short sighted and that whoever thought it up is a bloody idiot." They darted down the stairs and with a quick glance at each other, agreed that it was worth the risk of getting caught by Filch to make it to the first floor. Sometimes it took him a good twenty minutes to reach the spot where they were hiding, and they had promised Remus and Peter they would be back as fast as possible.

"I'm not disagreeing, James. But maybe we should wait until after we're back in the tower to have this conversation." Sirius murmured as they reached the first floor. Filch appeared on the second floor landing as they stepped off the last step and he shouted after them.

"Probably." James agreed with a grin, pushing open a door and hurrying inside, Sirius following him with a matching smirk of his own. They crouched behind a suit of armour and waited with baited breath for Filch to follow them into the corridor. They weren't disappointed and about a minute after they'd chosen the armour to hide behind, the caretaker stormed in after them, a scowl etched onto his face.

"Where are you, you little brats?" Filch demanded angrily, his face flushing a dark red when he got no answer. Behind the suit of armour, James and Sirius tried to hide their sniggers by covering their mouths with their hands and grinned at each other from behind their fingers.

After five or ten minutes of Filch stomping around outside, he let out a frustrated huff and stormed off. When they were sure that he was gone, the two boys crept out from behind the armour and quietly clapped each other on the shoulder, before sneaking over to the door. James opened the door a slight crack and peered out; satisfied that Filch was gone, they yanked the door open all the way.

The kitchens, they had figured out after following a group of Hufflepuffs a few days before, were on the other side of the floor and they sprinted across the landing to get to the other side. The door on that side creaked loudly as they pulled it open and slipped into the corridor. They managed to make it almost to the place where they thought the door to the kitchens was when the sound of footsteps echoed down the corridor behind them. They froze in place, looking at each other in growing horror as the footsteps got closer.

"Where do we go?" Sirius hissed, glancing around as he looked for somewhere to hide. Coming up blank he raised his eyebrows at James and sighed in resignation when his friend had no answer. "Fat lot of help you are." He grumbled.

"Sorry that I can't pull suits of armour out of my arse." He muttered back, stashing his wand, which he had pulled out when the footsteps had first sounded, back up his sleeve.

Sirius looked thoughtful for a minute. "As you should be, it sounds like an ideal talent to have."

Natasha James, a sixth year Ravenclaw, rounded the corner with her patrol partner in tow and she raised an eyebrow when she caught sight of them.

"Evening, boys." She said, coming to a stop and crossing her arms over her chest. "And what exactly are you doing all the way down here?" She motioned to their robes, and the very visible Gryffindor crests on their chests.

"We got lost." Sirius said quickly, an innocent smile breaking out across his face. "We really don't know our way around the castle yet, and we got lost trying to find our way back to our dormitory."

"Uh huh." Natasha said, her lips twitching, although she managed to control it. "A likely story. Now, seeing as you two are out of bed after hours, it's my responsibility to make sure that you return to your Common Room and see that you get the punishment you deserve."

James pulled a face, a hand reaching up to run through his hair and he let out a long breath. "Do you have to?" He asked, sticking out his bottom lip and widening his eyes slightly behind his glasses. "Can't you let us off, just this once?"

"No can do." Natasha said with an apologetic smile that James deemed to be genuine. "The rules are rules, and if McGonagall finds out I let you off, not only would she have your hides, but ours too."

There wasn't really anything they could do, and they dutifully followed her and her partner back up to the seventh floor corridor, kicking out at each other every few minutes and trying to trip each other up the stairs. Natasha turned to tell them off a few times, but they could tell that she was trying not to smile.

When they finally reached the seventh floor, Natasha turned to them before they got to the portrait of the Fat Lady and held out a hand to get them to stop. "Now, time for your punishment." They both groaned and she did smile slightly, her lips curling upwards as she surveyed them. "You'll each have two hours with Professor Flitwick on Thursday evening, starting from seven o'clock in his office. He'll be expecting you, so don't think you can skive off and nobody will notice."

They headed towards the portrait hole with their heads hung low, but as soon as they were back in the Common Room, Sirius snorted. They walked back into the first year boys' dormitory still laughing, and Remus glanced up from his Potions homework with a frown.

"Sorry, mate," James said with a small, amused smile. "We didn't get to the kitchens. This idiot over here got us caught just before we got in."

Sirius let out an indignant squawk and turned to hit him on the arm. "What do you mean, it's my fault? I'm not the one who couldn't find a hiding spot."

James didn't point out that in fact, Sirius had been the one who couldn't find somewhere to hide, instead dropping onto his mattress with a light laugh. Sirius dropped down next to him and pillowed his head on James' arm, grunting as James' hand started running lightly through his hair. Remus shared a long suffering look with Peter and then returned to his homework, lips quirking as James began to retell the story of the evening.

.

The detention wasn't particularly interesting. Flitwick merely sat them down on opposite sides of the room and had them writing lines for two hours. When they both got bored, which didn't take long given that they had been repeating the same ten words for about twenty minutes, they started trying to find ways of communicating across the room without speaking.

It didn't take a lot of effort, their pointed looks quickly giving away what they were thinking and when Sirius rolled his eyes and mimed a yawn, James almost laughed aloud and nearly got them both into even more trouble. He returned the favour a few minutes later when he mimed stabbing himself in the eye with his quill.

After that it was surprisingly easy to talk without speaking and they managed to hold a conversation for about half an hour before Flitwick noticed and frowned heavily at them from behind his desk. They smiled sheepishly and buried their heads back into their work, glancing up a few minutes later and grinning at each other.

When they eventually got back to the Common Room, their cheeks hurt from trying not to smile and they couldn't explain why they kept breaking into fits of giggles whenever one of the other boys asked them what was so funny.

.

December swept up on them quickly, bringing with it mountain loads of snow and temperatures so cold that the Hospital Wing was full of students suffering from varying stages of frost bite.

As the Christmas holidays approached, James noticed Sirius slowly begin to draw into himself, becoming less outgoing and quieter as the weeks went on. He was so confused and exasperated that he was willing to resort to ridiculous measures to make his best friend laugh. It resulted in him making an idiot out of himself on an almost daily basis and Remus laughing harder than they had ever heard him when he had ended up covered in melted chocolate and feathers.

On one Monday evening, two weeks before they were due to go to home, Sirius had been more or less silent the entire day, going through the motions without any actual effort. James cornered him in the hour they had between the end of History of Magic and dinner whilst they were lounging across James' bed. The others were down in the Common Room, trying to coerce one of the third years into helping them do Transfiguration homework.

"What's wrong with you?" James asked, poking his friend in the ribs and resting his chin in one hand.

"Nothing." Sirius answered, swatting back at James' hand and twisting his arm when slender fingers wrapped around his wrist. "What?"

"What's wrong?" James repeated, refusing to let go and staring at the other boy until he sighed.

"It's really nothing." He muttered, reaching out to pull at some of the hair falling into James' face affectionately. "My parents want me to go home for Christmas."

"Oh." James worked his mouth a few times as he tried to think of something to say. "I'm sorry?" He eventually offered, and Sirius snorted derisively.

"They're not going to be happy when they see me. The precious heir turned out to be a traitor to everything they hold dear." He said bitterly and James rolled onto his side, his hand splaying out over Sirius' stomach, his head pillowed on one arm.

"Sirius." He said seriously, his eyes narrowed slightly. "Your parents are arseholes."

That startled a laugh out of the boy and he turned his head to grin weakly over at him. "Yeah, I suppose they are."

"There's no 'suppose' about it, mate. They royally stink." He said and Sirius giggled, his hand clamping across his mouth to try and stifle the noise.

"They're still my parents, Jamie." James pulled a face at the nickname and tried to jab Sirius in the ribs again. They rolled around for a few minutes, howling with laughter as they each tried to reach the other's weak spots before collapsing next to each other in much the same position they'd been in before.

"Do you want to spend Christmas at mine, then?" James asked after a few minutes silence and he felt Sirius shift under him. He glanced up to find him looking at him with his brows furrowed tightly across the bridge of his nose.

"Really?" He asked unsurely, crossing his arms across his chest and nudging James' head when he didn't move in time.

"Yeah." James replied easily, shifting around so his head was now on Sirius' stomach instead. "I mean, Mum knows about you. Not," he added hastily at the unhappy noise the other boy made, "you know, about that. But she knows about you and she keeps telling me she wants to meet you."

"Your mum wants to meet me?" Sirius repeated, a trace of doubt lacing his voice, and James tilted his head to grin up at him.

"My mum wants to meet you." He confirmed with a slight nod of the head. "If your parents agreed to it, mine would be happy for you to come and stay over. In fact, I reckon they'd probably actively encourage it. I never did have many friends."

"Who's your friend?" Sirius deflected with a smirk, breaking out into laughter when James gave him an affronted look.

"See if I get you a present now." He sniggered when Sirius drummed his fingers against his scalp. The words seemed to register in his head because he stopped and froze perfectly still.

"You'd get me a present?" He silently cursed the fact that he sounded like a parrot and made faces at the canopy above him as he waited for an answer.

James breathed out a laugh and butted his head against Sirius' stomach in mock annoyance. "Of course I'd get you a present. What kind of friend do you think I am?"

"A really, really bad one." Sirius' reply was deadpan and James pinched him in retaliation.

"Rude. Fine, see if I do."

"Would your parents really be okay with me being with you?" Sirius asked, his fingers twisting by his side and James rolled his eyes.

"Of course they would. I wouldn't have offered if I didn't think they'd agree to it." He tilted his head again, giving Sirius as stern a look as he could upside down. "Why? Do you want to come?"

"Yeah." Sirius breathed. "Yeah, I think I do."

_Dearest Mother,_

_It's me, your beloved only son, James! I know, I know, it's been far too long and your days are growing dull without me. Now, as much as I love and miss you, Mother dear, I do have a reason for writing and it involves one Sirius Black._

_See, his parents aren't very nice, and they've demanded he go home for Christmas. But the thing is, he really, really doesn't want to and I can't say I blame him. So, I was wondering, seeing as you're the most amazing and powerful woman in the entire world, if you could perhaps talk his parents letting him stay with us instead._

_He wants to, I asked. He doesn't want to go home because his parents are going to 'murder' him for being a Gryffindor. I don't want him to go back there, Mum, his parents sound really scary and he's obviously terrified of them (look at me, using my big words)._

_Anyway, I have to go, but I just wanted to write and ask you for this one, tiny favour. I know you won't mind if Sirius comes to stay or not, and neither will Dad, because in your last letter there was reference to, and I quote, 'feeding the boy a proper meal'._

_So please, please at least try and I promise that I will love you forever and will most definitely try not to crash into your flowers when I play Quidditch in the garden._

_Love from you Darling Boy,_

_James_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ___

__His mother's reply didn't arrive until three days before they broke up for Christmas, and by that point Sirius had already had three angry letters from his parents demanding he turn up for the holidays or face dire consequences when he eventually returned home. James watched Sirius retreat into himself more and more each day with a growing sense of sadness and he tried desperately to make his friend feel better._ _

__When he tore open the envelope with his mum's cursive handwriting on the front and began reading, his heart sank into his stomach and he swore silently._ _

___Dearest James,_ _ _

___I was so thrilled to get you letter, even if you were only after one thing (a good thing, nevertheless, and I do love you for it, Darling). I'm sorry, I tried to convince Walburga that Sirius would be better off with us over the holidays, but she was having none of it. She's a mean old hag, but don't tell anyone I told you that; it's our little secret, okay?_ _ _

___I would have loved to have Sirius over, but his parents have decided that he would be better off with them. And, as much as I wish I could, I can't make them change their minds. Stick with him, Darling, because he will no doubt be unhappy about the whole ordeal and his parents will no doubt think that he had something to do with it, even if that isn't the case._ _ _

___I wish I had better news, Darling, but unfortunately it was not meant to be this time. Don't give up hope though; one of these days she'll give in and Sirius will be able to stay with us for as long as he wants._ _ _

___Must dash, Darling, your father will be home soon and I have to tell the House Elves what to cook for dinner._ _ _

___Love you to the moon and back,_ _ _

___Mum_ _ _

___xxxxxxxxxxxxxx ____ _

____He glanced up at Sirius, who was watching him carefully and he shook his head minutely._ _ _ _

____"Sorry, mate." He said, clapping his on the shoulder and wincing when Sirius flinched away from him. "Your parents said no."_ _ _ _

____"I knew they would. They've already told me in not so many words that I am to present myself to them on the sixteenth, and if I'm not there, there will be hell to pay when we break up for summer." He held a three page long letter up with one hand and grimaced. "Ugh, I hate them."_ _ _ _

____"Can't really say I blame you." James replied evenly, watching as Sirius skimmed the letter again, an ugly sneer on his face._ _ _ _

____"Oh, blow them." He snarled, lifting the letter up to one of the many candles spread out across the Gryffindor table and watching in abject fascination as the parchment began to blacken and curl. As the ashes drifted down to the table, he looked back up to meet James' eyes. "Thanks for trying, mate. I appreciate it, you know."_ _ _ _

____James offered him a smile and nodded slightly. "No problem, mate. I know you don't want to go home."_ _ _ _

____Sirius shook his head furiously and frowned. "That would be an understatement." He sighed heavily and started playing with his food, his chin resting in one hand. "It's fine. I'd have to deal with them eventually, anyway."_ _ _ _

____James watched him sadly for few seconds, before placing his hand on Sirius' shoulder, his thumb instantly starting to rub soothing circles into the material of his jumper. "I'm sorry."_ _ _ _

____._ _ _ _

____The sight of the Hogwarts Express was a lot more impressive when it could be seen in daylight, and with the added bonus of being able to see colours. It was a bright, gleaming scarlet that left James speechless when he was standing on the platform, waiting until some of the crowd had died down so he could climb on behind his friends. They were waiting for him in a small cluster just inside of the door, out of the way. When they spotted him, they smiled and motioned further down the corridor._ _ _ _

____They found an empty compartment about halfway down the carriage and slipped inside quickly, closing the door behind them with a definitive snap of the lock. Sirius threw himself down onto one of the seats with a huff, leaving his trunk in the corner where he'd dumped it. James lowered himself down next to him after stashing his own trunk on the shelf above their heads. As soon as he was seated, Sirius raised his feet into his lap, raising his eyebrows in a silent challenge as he did so. Instead of arguing, James rested a hand on his friend's knee and watched as the other two boys settled down for the train ride back to London._ _ _ _

____When they were seated, Peter reached into his bag and pulled out a pack of cards, smiling slightly at the identical grins that broke out across the two black haired boys' faces. His mother had sent him the pack sometime during November, and the moment they had seen the Muggle cards, both Purebloods had become besotted with learning as many different card games as they could._ _ _ _

____James had become incredibly good at slapjack, seeing the jack before any of the others could even blink. It was a fact that he was ridiculously proud of and would demand at least two games of whenever the cards were brought out in order to stem off the boredom that came with being as energetic as he and Sirius were. Sirius, on the other hand, couldn't play slapjack for anything and was instead renowned king of the group for being able to play rummy better than any of their House mates had ever seen before. He'd lost to a sixth year once, and had taken it as a personal offence, making sure that he practiced to the point that when he challenged that person to a rematch, he won spectacularly._ _ _ _

____They pulled the table out from the wall, the strip of material that was used to pull it open dangling helplessly from the worn edge of wood. Peter took the cards out from the beaten cardboard box they were kept in and placed them in the centre of the table, folding his arms and resting his chin on them as he leant forwards._ _ _ _

____"So, what are we playing first?" He asked, glancing around at the other three. Beside him, Remus shrugged, not really being very good at any of their usual games. James and Sirius looked at each other, James' hand pinching the other boy's leg when he opened his mouth._ _ _ _

____"Not rummy. Anything but rummy." He sighed dramatically, his forearm lifting to cover his eyes and he moved out of the way of the swat aimed in his direction without moving his arm. Sirius snorted and kicked his leg, smirking at the pained noise James let out._ _ _ _

____"Just because you're rubbish at it." James lifted his arm enough to pull a face across the short distance between them, his tongue poking out and his eyes wide._ _ _ _

____He opened his mouth properly, intending to refute the claim, when the door opened again from his right and he turned his head slightly to see who it was. Evans, McKinnon and Dorcas were all gathered in the doorway, looking sheepish._ _ _ _

____"Do you mind if we join you?" Evans asked quietly, kicking at the carpet with her feet as she bit her bottom lip._ _ _ _

____"Not at all." Remus answered quickly, aiming a level look in James' direction when he seemed like he was about to protest._ _ _ _

____"Yeah, come on in," Sirius said, dropping his feet to the floor and sitting up straight so that James could slide along the bench and make more room. "Any particular reason you ladies are down this far?"_ _ _ _

____"Malfoy and his cronies tried to kick us out of our compartment so that they could use it. We got into an argument with them." McKinnon scowled and rubbed her forearm gingerly. Peter watched her actions carefully and felt his own face slowly drop into a scowl of its own._ _ _ _

____"What did he do to you?" He asked, motioning to McKinnon, who was still rubbing her arm. She frowned and pulled her arm close to her chest._ _ _ _

____"Nothing."_ _ _ _

____"Yes." James said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "We definitely believe that. C'mon, McKinnon, tell us the truth."_ _ _ _

____"He said he 'didn't like our tone of voice' and tried to forcibly remove us." Dorcas said, pushing forwards and slouching down next to James._ _ _ _

____"In the end, we just left. It didn't seem worth it. There were more of them and they're seventh years." Lily said as she sat down next to Remus, returning the smile he gave her with one of her own, although there was a tightness around the corners of her mouth._ _ _ _

____"We were all going to leave, but they told Snape that he could stay. That he was actively encouraged to join them." McKinnon spat, kicking the edge of the bench viscously before slamming her body down next to Dorcas._ _ _ _

____Sirius opened his mouth, but James aimed a pointed elbow at his ribcage and then raised his eyebrows, head jerking in Evans' direction. He nodded when he saw and coughed lightly. "It's a good thing you showed up when you did, you know." He grinned and pointed at James. "We were just about to play a game of rummy. Want to join?"_ _ _ _

____He ignored the betrayed look James sent his way and reached over to snatch the cards off of the table, hands automatically beginning to shuffle them. He looked up to catch Evans watching them in amusement and he winked, grinning when she winked back._ _ _ _

____._ _ _ _

____King's Cross was abysmally cold when they finally got off the train, James' breath fogging out in front of him as he blew hot air into his cupped hands. He stood beside Sirius, waving as Peter was led away by a plump, middle aged woman with stern brown eyes and mousy brown hair that had been pulled back into a ponytail that only just reached her shoulders. Remus had already left, both of his parents smiling gently when he'd introduced them. His mother had wrapped a protective arm around his shoulders, and with a farewell, had steered him off towards the entrance, his father behind them pulling his son's trunk along by the handle._ _ _ _

____"Darling Boy," a soft voice called, and James turned his head in time to see his mother come barrelling towards him, her arms open wide. His father was close behind her, although he approached at a walk, an amused smile lighting up his face and when he caught James looking, he shook his head slowly._ _ _ _

____"Hello, Dearest Mother." James answered with a grin, wrapping his skinny arms around the woman's waist and burying his head into her neck._ _ _ _

____"Oh, I've missed you." Mrs Potter said, pulling back so she could cup his cheeks in the palms of her hands. His grin turned cheeky and he repeated the gesture, thumb brushing against her cheek._ _ _ _

____"I haven't."_ _ _ _

____Mrs Potter narrowed her eyes and her brows drew down into a frown. Before she could reply, her husband placed a hand on her shoulder and pulled her back slightly so she was forced to let go._ _ _ _

____"Can you wait until we get home to maim him, dear?" Mr Potter asked with a grin almost identical to James'. At her slight nod, her eyes dancing with mirth, he turned back to his son and help up his arms. "Hello, son."_ _ _ _

____"Hi, Dad." James said, easily stepping into his father's embrace and resting his head on his chest for a few seconds, breathing in the smell of his tweed jacket and the fine Firewhiskey he liked to drink on occasion._ _ _ _

____He stepped back after a minute or two and took the time to assess his parents properly, now that he could see colours. His mother was even more beautiful, which was saying something, considering James genuinely believed her to be the best looking woman in the entire world. Her hair was the same colour as his and was pulled into a sleek ponytail, her long fringe swinging down into her eyes. She watched him carefully through eyes that were almost the same colour as Sirius', although hers were a few shades lighter and the grey was slightly more prominent. She'd painted her lips a bright red that matched the colour of her shoes and her handbag almost perfectly. Her robes were a dark teal that swished around her legs as she walked, the small amount of embroidery around her wrists, neck, hips and ankles in a thread that was the same colour as her accessories._ _ _ _

____His father was a tall man with a lot of thick, light brown hair that he kept having to push away from his forehead. His eyes were hazel, although at that particular moment they looked almost completely green behind his thick rimmed glasses. His jacket was a dark green that had faded from extended usage, and the tie that his mother had tied for him was the same colour as her robes._ _ _ _

____His mother tilted her head when she noticed him watching them and he shook his head to clear it. He smiled, looked over his shoulder at Sirius, who looked incredibly unsure of himself and jerked his head. Sirius approached them slowly, scuffing his feet against the flagstone floor and refused to look any of them in the eye. When he reached James' side, the other boy wrapped an arm around his shoulders and grinned at him._ _ _ _

____"Mum, Dad. This is Sirius Black." James said, turning his grin on his parents, and they smiled back kindly at the two of them._ _ _ _

____"It's a pleasure to meet you, Sirius." Mrs Potter said softly, reaching forwards to wrap her fingers around Sirius' in a quick handshake._ _ _ _

____"We've heard a lot about you." Mr Potter agreed, his lips quirking upwards at the long suffering look James gave him. "Don't look at me like, James, we have."_ _ _ _

____"All good things, I hope." Sirius murmured straight-faced, although the twinkle of amusement in his eyes gave him away._ _ _ _

____Mrs Potter smiled and was quick to reassure him. "Only the best."_ _ _ _

____"Sirius!" A sharp voice cut across the crowd, and Sirius stifled a groan, going stiff where he stood._ _ _ _

____"Afternoon, Mother." He greeted, grimacing at James before he turned around to deal with his own parents. Mrs Black stood tall and formidable, her long black hair pulled into a tight bun that made her scowl even more severe. She brushed a non-existent piece of flint off the bodice of her navy blue robes and then looked down her nose at her son._ _ _ _

____"You're late." She accused, her eyes narrowing into thin slits and Sirius rolled his own, not caring if she saw or not._ _ _ _

____"I'm sorry, Walburga. I think that might be our fault." Mrs Potter said, stepping forwards and placing a reassuring hand on Sirius' shoulder._ _ _ _

____Mrs Black's nostrils flared as she looked at the hand on her son's shoulder. "Dorea." She said coolly, beckoning to Sirius with one hand. "Come along, Sirius. We haven't got all day."_ _ _ _

____Sirius sighed, his shoulders drooping. His mother turned sharply on her heel and strode off without so much as a goodbye. He gave a half-hearted wave, his mouth curling down at the sides. "See you in January, I suppose."_ _ _ _

____"See you…" James trailed off as Sirius followed his mother, his head bent and his feet dragging. Mrs Potter tutted under her breath, shaking off the placating hand her husband placed on her shoulder._ _ _ _

____"He'll be fine." Mr Potter said quietly, wrapping an arm around both his wife and his son's shoulders. He waited for James to grasp the handle of his trunk and then directed them towards the exit. James didn't look convinced, but he allowed his father to lead him in the right direction._ _ _ _

____._ _ _ _

____The Potter house was fully kitted out for Christmas when they got back. The moment they stepped through the front door, a House Elf appeared at his side and relieved James of his trunk. He smiled down at the Elf, and then turned his head to look around the entrance hall, his smile growing as he drank in the numerous Christmas decorations._ _ _ _

____There were garlands wrapped around the banister of the stairs, tiny candles charmed to sit between the leaves without dropping to the ground or setting them alight. A medium sized Christmas tree stood next to the bottom step, dressed lavishly in red and gold decorations. James paused next to the tree, reaching out to poke one of the glittery baubles and watching it bob gently when he moved his finger away. A small amount of glitter pulled away from the glass decoration and he smiled down at it, not noticing the way his parents were looking at him almost knowingly._ _ _ _

____His father led him through the hallway and towards the large living room and James felt his breath catch in his throat. A large tree, richly decorated in the same colours as the other one, stood proudly in the far left corner of the room, the roaring fire next to it making shadows dance across the walls. Candles bobbed gently among the branches and lit up the elegant glass baubles. A garland of red flowers James couldn't identify rested across the mantle over the fire place._ _ _ _

____Mrs Potter bustled in a few moments later and came to a stop behind her son, her hands smoothing down over his shoulders. He leant back into her and smiled when she wrapped her arms around his neck, her lips pressed to his temple._ _ _ _

____"I'm so glad you're home."_ _ _ _


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I'm so sorry it took me the better part of three months to get this out. A lot of mundane stuff just got in the way and took up what time I did have to write.
> 
> I have just one thing to say for this chapter: please don't hate me.

James' first few days at home were tinged with sadness, despite his parents' best efforts to make him feel better. The day after he got back, his mother suggested he write to Sirius and he spent most of that afternoon sat at the desk in his room, his quill poised over the parchment and his mouth pulled into a confused frown. Mrs Potter went in to check on him a few times, as he was being uncharacteristically quiet, only to find him chewing on the end of the feather, with his eyebrows drawn tight across the bridge of his nose.

By the time James had actually finished the letter, it was nearing dinner time and he joined his parents in the dining room with a noticeable slump to his shoulders, feeling emotionally drained. His father gave him a small, encouraging smile when he pulled his chair out. He dropped down onto it and returned the look with one of his own, resting his forehead on folded arms. When his mother made a noise of disapproval he only lifted his head enough to meet her eye but ignored the look she aimed at him.

"Did you finish your letter, James?" Mr Potter asked, leaning to the side so one of the House Elves could place a steaming plate of food in front of him. He gave the House Elf a grateful smile and lightly patted the top of their head in thanks.

"Eventually." James answered, an unhappy frown tugging at the corners of his mouth. He didn't seem to notice his personal House Elf, Smudge, appear at his elbow with his own plate of food. It wasn't until the plate was put down in front of him with a light thud that he even noticed someone was standing next to him. He jumped slightly and then smiled sheepishly across the table at Mrs Potter before quietly thanking Smudge as the Elf walked away from the table.

"You mustn't expect an answer straight away, Darling." She said sympathetically, picking up her knife and fork and cutting into one of the roast potatoes on her plate.

"I know." James sighed, jabbing his own fork at a small cluster of peas and scowling when they flew off in different directions. He ran a hand through his hair and blew out a breath before stabbing a potato and biting into it. He took a few moments to eat and then spoke again. "I hope his parents aren't _too_ horrible to him."

Mr and Mrs Potter shared a look. "James, love, the Blacks' are not exactly like you and I. They view the world a lot differently than we do. I refuse to lie to you and say that Sirius isn't going to be punished for this, because that would be an insult to both of you. I _do_ promise that he will be fine." James looked doubtful and Mrs Potter reached across the table to grip his hand loosely. "I'll tell you what. If you don't get an answer by the twentieth, I'll write to Walburga myself."

.

The twentieth of December came and went in a flurry of bad weather and an ever worsening mood. Mrs Potter, having had an inkling her son would be disappointed, sent an owl off in the early hours of the twenty-first.

The longer James went without an answer, the more subdued he grew and the more time he spent holed up in his room. She went in more than once to check on him, only to find him lying on his bed and staring blindly up at the ceiling. Not even a proposed game of Quidditch could draw him away from his moping. He found himself following his mother around the house the afternoon of the twenty-second, watching her through bloodshot eyes and sighing dejectedly every so often.

Eventually she told him to go and help his father in the garden because, as much as she loved him, having him as her personal shadow was beginning to grate on her nerves.

Mr Potter was busy trimming an extremely leafy plant when James wandered out into the garden, his gloved hands covered in mud and tiny bits of shredded leaves. He looked up from what he was doing when James came to a stop next to him and he frowned. He took off the old fisherman's hat he'd been using as protection from the rain and wiped the back of his cleaner hand across his forehead.

"What are you doing out here?" Mr Potter asked, leaning back on his haunches and surveying his son over the top of his glasses.

"Mum threatened to set Smudge on me if I didn't 'get out from under her feet'." James answered, kicking lightly at a small pile of mud in front of him. He heard the faint crack of a snail shell breaking and grimaced before glancing up to find his father watching him.

"What your mother wants, your mother gets." Mr Potter said eventually with a conspiratorial wink. He pulled one of his gloves off with his teeth and ran his bare hand through his hair before huffing. He held out a pair of secateurs that were streaked with dirt and gave a wan smile. "Still no answer, then?"

"No." James answered sullenly, taking what his father was offering and allowing himself to be maneuvered into a better position. "It's been two days and he hasn't replied."

"I'm sure he's just busy, James. He probably hasn't had time to answer you yet." Mr Potter soothed. His hands were resting on James' shoulders and he smoothed them down his arms to his elbows.

"He promised he would, though." James muttered. When his father had selected a branch to be trimmed, he pulled it tight and watched as James snipped the stem.

"I'll tell you what," Mr Potter said, throwing the leafy branch onto a small pile of other clippings and then turning back to James with a small, reassuring smile. "If you still haven't had an answer by the time we finish dinner tonight, I will personally write to them myself. I know your mother promised she would, but it's probably slipped her mind because of everything else that has been going on recently."

"You will?" James asked, pulling another branch out to be trimmed.

"I promise." Mr Potter assured. One of the other House Elves on the estate approached silently and he nodded to them as they gathered the pile of branches in their arms.

"What if something's wrong?" There were frown lines between his eyebrows and Mr Potter reached out to brush his fingers across them.

"I doubt that there is. But if it turns out that something _has_ gone wrong, then we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, alright?"

"Okay." James said. His worries seemed to have been subdued for the moment because he then dived into gardening with a renewed energy that left them both filthy.

.

Dinner that evening was extremely nerve-wracking for James because he still hadn't had an answer from Sirius. He sat at the dining table, his legs kicking back and forth quickly, staring at the carrots on his plate vacantly. His parents kept sneaking worried glances at him, but he didn't see them and when his mother finally spoke, he jumped at the sound of her voice.

"James, darling, I was thinking that instead of writing to the Blacks, how about I Floo them, instead?" James' head shot up and he answered the smile he was offered with one of his own.

"Really?" He asked, a small trace of excitement creeping into his tone.

"Really." His mother affirmed. She speared a roast potato with her fork and dipped it in a small pool of gravy before taking a bite. After she had finished chewing, she placed her fork on her plate and watched her son with a fond smile as he attacked the roast beef on his own plate. "I don't promise that we'll get a response right away. I wouldn't trust Walburga as far as I could throw her, but I do promise that I'll keep trying until I speak to one of them."

"Thanks, Mum." James said, shovelling some of the carrots he'd been staring at moments before into his mouth. A few seconds later he wiped the back of his hand across the bottom half of his face to remove the trail of gravy that was threatening to drip off his chin.

"Just don't get your hopes up too much, alright, darling?"

The answering nod that she received was proof enough that James wasn't listening to her anymore and she sighed. She focussed her attention back on her food, not seeing the amused look her husband gave her, and made a mental note to praise the House Elves even more so than usual for such a nice meal. By the time she looked back up from her plate, her son had seemingly inhaled the remainder of his food and was staring at her as if he was waiting for something.

"If you're finished, go on upstairs and I'll get you once I've Flooed them, alright?"

James pushed his chair back from the table and he virtually sprinted out of the room, almost crashing into Smudge in the process. He gripped the banister and swung himself around so that he could run up them when he finally saw the Elf and he bit his bottom lip. "Sorry!" He was about to offer to help the Elf right himself but he was given a dismissive shake of the head and a wave of a bony hand, so he shrugged and carried on up the stairs.

He tried not to be disappointed when he opened the door to his bedroom and found Acadius in the same place as he'd left him. The only sign that the owl had even moved in the few hours James had been gone was the dead mouse in the bottom of his cage. James pulled a face at that and moved on to lie on top of his bed. He stared at the ceiling, counting his own breaths and drawing patterns in the air with his fingers for what felt like hours.

He was half-asleep when it happened and at first he wasn't even sure whether it was real or his imagination playing tricks on him. His ceiling was a really pale yellow that looked white most of the time anyway and so it took him a few moments to notice that the other objects in his room had also changed colours. Gone were the vibrant scarlet of his duvet, the dark mahogany of his floorboards and the sky blue of the uniforms of the Tutshill Tornadoes poster he had on his wall. The colour had leeched away, and in its place, were the greys, blacks and whites that he had grown up seeing.

Trying not to panic, James sat up and stared at the opposite wall for a few seconds. He breathed deeply through his nose and then released a steadying breath out through his mouth. He repeated this four or five times before he screwed his eyes shut. When he opened them again, the room was back to what he had come to consider 'normal'.

He flopped back across the mattress of his double bed – a luxury that had mostly been provided because when he'd had a single bed he had fidgeted so much as a child that he'd ended up on the floor more than once – and heaved out a groan. Acadius made a soft, low hoot and James turned his head to look at him. "What's going on?" He asked the bird quietly, as if expecting an answer, and when his question was met with nothing but silence, he snorted and rolled his eyes. His jaw cracked as he yawned and he snuggled down further into the pillow he'd snagged from the top of his bed.

.

The next time he woke up it was just beginning to turn bright outside and there was a strange, pink beam of light racing across his floorboards towards his bed, which could only mean one thing. When his brain had registered what this meant, he virtually leapt out of bed and ran to the window, pulling the curtains apart just enough for him to be able to see outside. There was thick snow outside, no doubt taller than he was and whiter than the clouds he could see in the distance. He was about to race to his parents' bedroom and beg his dad to help him build a snowman when he paused in his tracks. His excitement for the snow outside diminished quickly when he remembered what had happened and what his parents had promised to do.

He shoved his feet into the pair of slippers at the end of his bed, refilled the food bowl in the bottom of Acadius' cage as quietly as he could without waking the sleeping bird and then crept towards the door. Past experience, and the scar across the base of his left index finger, had taught him not to wake the owl up until he was good and ready to be conscious.

The hallway outside his bedroom was a lot colder than the bed he had just climbed out of and the drastic change in temperature made him almost wish he'd put a jumper on. He stalked down the hallway, across the landing where the candles were still lit in the garlands wrapped around the banister and stopped in front of the door of his parents' bedroom. He paused once he'd raised his fist to knock, suddenly unsure of whether or not to bother them. But it seemed his mother had anticipated this because before he had a chance to either knock or go back to his own room, the door in front of him eased open.

"Morning, love." His mother's voice was croaky from sleep and James found it difficult to meet her eye. She placed her hand on his shoulder and smiled when he finally looked at her.

"Morning," he answered with what felt more like a grimace than the smile he had been going for.

"Let's get some breakfast, shall we?" Mrs Potter asked kindly, reaching round the back of the door to grab her dressing gown when James nodded. She slipped the dressing gown over her shoulders and tied it shut at her waist as they headed back down the corridor.

The house was completely silent, suggesting that even the three House Elves were still asleep. Mrs Potter directed him to the small table in the corner of the room and waited until he was sitting comfortably before she began bustling about with making breakfast.

Neither of them spoke again until both the eggs and the bacon were frying in their separate pans. Mrs Potter turned to him once she'd thrown the third eggshell in the bin and folded her arms across her chest.

"You didn't get an answer. Did you?" James said quietly, picking at the loose skin around his thumb and refusing to look up to meet her gaze.

"I'm sorry, darling." She apologised, running a hand through her unbrushed hair. "We tried for about an hour last night, but we couldn't get an answer. I'm sure nothing's wrong though, sweetheart. They're probably just busy."

James had spent a lot of time over the past few days contemplating whether or not to tell his parents about Sirius being his soul mate, but had decided against it purely for Sirius' privacy. The temptation to just tell his mother the truth was almost overwhelming and he opened his mouth to tell her, so that she'd know exactly why it was that he was so worried about his best friend's silence. But then Smudge bustled into the kitchen, squeaking when he realised that they were already up and that they had had to cook for themselves.

"Smudge is sorry, Mistress. Smudge overslept!" The small Elf kept saying, slowly growing more hysterical until James hopped off of his chair and knelt down in front of him.

"You didn't oversleep, don't worry. We just woke up earlier than usual." He reassured him, looking at Mrs Potter for support. Smudge looked at both of them, on the edge of crying and when she smiled at him he sniffed deeply a few times and then nodded.

"Why don't you go and get some breakfast, Smudge?" Mrs Potter said, rubbing a hand across his thin, bony shoulders comfortingly. "There's nothing for you to do here at the moment and all we're going to be doing is eating." As if remembering that she had something on the hob, she sprang up and hurried over to the stove. A few seconds later she motioned for James to go and retrieve the plates they needed from one of the cupboards.

As he moved over to the table, a plate in each hand ready to be put down on the flowery placemats, the world suddenly shifted into black and white again. James was so surprised that he dropped the plates, not even registering the sound of them shattering against the terracotta tiles.

He only came back to himself when he felt his mother's hands wrapped around his shoulders and her calling his name softly.

"What happened?" He asked groggily, wiping at his eyes with the tips of his fingers. It didn't change anything and his surroundings remained monochrome. Panic started to bubble up in his chest and he quickly moved to sit down on the chair nearest to him. Mrs Potter crouched down in front of him, concern etched into her features.

"James?" She said, smoothing circles into his knee although James could tell that it was more for her sake than for his. "Darling, are you alright?"

The panic as still boiling in his chest, an ever present reminder that the colours were still missing. He took a deep breath, not entirely sure how to tell her about everything that had happened since he'd been gone, but knowing that he had to because something was wrong.

Knowing that it would be best to just tell her, he released the breath out through his nose and then blurted out, "Sirius is my soul mate!"

Mrs Potter simply stared at him for a few seconds, her eyebrows nearing her hairline. "Sirius is your _what_?"

"My soul mate. I'm sorry." He cried, his eyes tearing up before he could stop them when his mother continued to stare at him. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"Oh, darling." His mother said, pulling him forwards into her arms. His arms wrapped around her neck and he buried his face into her shoulder.

"Are you angry with me for not telling you?" It was something that James had spent a lot of time worrying about. He had wanted to tell her as soon as they had first touched on the train but Sirius' panic had stopped him from saying anything to either of his parents.

"Of course not, love." Mrs Potter shushed, wiping at the tears trailing down his cheeks with the pads of her thumbs. "Finding out you have a soul mate is an extremely confusing time."

"Are you cross because Sirius is a boy?" Now that James was talking, he wasn't sure he could stop; these questions had long since become some of his worst fears and he wouldn't have been able to keep from asking, even if he wanted to.

"Why on Earth would I be?" She gave a quick, short laugh and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "You can't help who your soul mate is, and even if you could, there are people a lot worse than Sirius in the world."

"I'm scared." James whispered against her collar bone, shifting his head until he was comfortable because his glasses kept digging into his face.

His mother remained silent for a few minutes. James was beginning to worry that she hadn't even heard him when she spoke again. "There's nothing to be worried about, darling. No matter what happens, your father and I are going to be here for you." James inhaled sharply through his nose and he felt Mrs Potter physically pause. "Has something happened? Is that why you've been so agitated for the past few days?"

James nodded, rolling his bottom lip between his teeth before swallowing a few times. "The colours are gone, Mum." Saying it aloud felt like a damn bursting in his chest and he was suddenly crying again. Somehow he managed to get what sounded like complete sentences out between his sobs. "They went away last night, but it only lasted for a minute so I didn't think anything bad had happened. But then it happened again when I was getting the plates, and they still haven't come back. What if something's happened to Sirius? His parents _hate_ him."

"James, sweetheart, stop! Take a deep breath for me. If you're really this worried about it, now that I know what's really going on, I'll ask your father to pop round and have a word, alright?" She stood up and pushed him gently so that he was sitting on the chair. She ran one of her hands over his hair and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "Stay here while I go and get your father."

.

Mr Potter was eerily calm, despite the severity of the situation, when he entered the kitchen fifteen minutes later. They found James clutching the edge of his chair and breathing heavily through his nose when they re-entered the room.

"James," Mrs Potter said softly, shaking his shoulder when he made no sign of seeing her. He blinked a few times, his breathing slowing back to a steadier pace and he glanced up at her through his eyelashes. "Everything is going to be absolutely fine, darling." She promised with what was meant to be a smile, but was nothing more than the corners of her mouth briefly lifting upwards.

She had never been a particularly good liar, and James noticed the way the smile didn't quite meet her eyes, but he said nothing. He merely nodded before he offered her a weak grimace instead, switching his attention onto his father when large fingers started carding through his hair and carefully started brushing out the knots.

"Your mother's right." He said. He'd always been a far better liar than his wife, and he was so convincing that James almost let himself believe it. "Whilst you're finishing up breakfast, I'll try Flooing them again. If there's still no answer then I'll go over there."

James nodded again, temporarily placated. His mother nudged him back towards his breakfast, which she'd placed a heating charm on. When he'd picked up his knife and fork, his father pressed a brief kiss to the top of his head, offered him a small smile and then disappeared out of the room towards the living room. James could hear his footsteps echoing down the hall as he chewed on a piece of fried egg.

Mrs Potter lowered herself onto one of the chairs opposite him and slowly cut up one of the slices of bacon on her plate. She paused before she took a bite, staring out of the kitchen window and out across the snow covered garden, her eyes catching on a particularly large plant crawling up the side of the shed, its flowers a stark yellow against the rest of its surroundings.

James watched her as he ate, eyeing the way the light caught on her dark hair and the way the sun made it gleam, as well as the shadows that danced across her skin as she moved. They remained silent for a few minutes, James biting the inside of his lip to keep him from saying anything.

She must have noticed his hesitation because she reached across the table and brushed her fingers over his wrist a few times. "At the risk of sounding like a broken record," she began, snorting when James began to grin, "everything is going to be fine."

"You're right," James said, shoving a piece of bacon into his mouth and chewing furiously, "you _do_ sound like a broken record."

She swatted a hand at him, her attention drawn towards the door when her husband appeared in the doorway. James was busy chasing down the yolk on his plate and so he didn't notice his father's return, nor the silent shake of his head.

He moved across the kitchen slowly, hesitating for a millisecond when he reached the back of James' chair. He wrapped his fingers around the spindled wood and sighed. "No luck, unfortunately. I'm going to head over there now. Do try not to worry about it, alright? I'll be back soon." He leaned across the table to kiss his wife, his lips quirking at the disgusted noise James made before he bent to kiss his son on the top of his head again.

.

Somehow, James had been persuaded to go back to his room and play for a while, until they had heard any news from Mr Potter.

Mrs Potter busied herself with editing an article she had been writing for _The Daily Prophet_. She stopped so often to look at the clock on her office's mantel piece that she eventually gave up the pretence of doing any work and doodled on a piece of blotching parchment instead.

James came wandering into her office about forty minutes after his father had left, a Snitch clutched in his hand. He didn't say a word, but dropped onto one of the armchairs in the corner. After a few seconds of complete stillness, he let the Snitch go and watched it flutter around the room before grabbing for it when it zoomed too close to his head.

He spent the next ten minutes doing this, and if she'd actually been trying to work, she might have said something to him about it. As it was, she merely watched him for a second or two and then went back to the doodling she had been doing before he'd walked into the room.

As the clock struck ten o'clock, a strange silvery glow appeared in the centre of the room, just in front of her desk. James had only ever seen his father's patronus twice in his life and the sudden arrival of the horse had him staring in open fascination. The Snitch collided with his head twice before he swiped it out of the air without looking at it and set it to rest in his pocket.

The horse opened its mouth and, James knew he was always going to be in awe of this, his father's voice poured out. "Things are a lot worse than we feared." James felt his heart drop into his stomach and his eyes swivelled between the patronus and his mother, who had gone extremely pale.

"What does _that_ mean?" James demanded, hopping off his chair and hurrying to stand in front of the horse. "Dad, what does that mean?"

If the horse had actually been real, it would have looked James straight in the eye. It turned to him and Mr Potter's voice gently answered him. "Sirius has been badly hurt, son."

If James' world hadn't already been black and white at that point, he felt like it would have turned back to it in that moment. He sagged where he stood and the only thing that stopped him from hitting the floor was his mother quickly darting around the desk and catching him under the arms.

His father's patronus turned its head back up to her and James barely heard what was said next. "He's been taken to St Mungo's."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so it's been awhile, huh? i want to apologise for that. sincerely, from the bottom of my heart: i'm sorry. i didn't mean for it to take this long, but real life can be a cruel, cruel asshole sometimes. there are a lot of reasons for my absence: my granddad died not long after the last update, i was in the middle of my final year of university, i had 10,000 other smaller things to worry about. in the end i let this go to the wayside and that's something i never wanted to happen because i love this fic. so i'm gonna promise right now that no matter how long it takes (and here's hoping the next break isn't a year and a half) i will finish this thing.

The time between being in the kitchen and being in his room was mostly a blur to James; the only thing he really remembered was his mother giving him a gentle push in the direction of the back stairs. When she went to check on him ten minutes later, it was to find him attempting to pull on a second pair of socks. He’d already managed to put his trousers on back-to-front, and his jumper was on inside out.

She played with the string of small, grey pearls around her neck and took a deep breath. “Oh, James.” She eventually said, stepping forward, ready to offer help if he wanted it.

“Sirius’ going to be alright, isn’t he?” James asked, frowning down at his skinny chest as the label of his jumper scratched against his chin. He heaved a sigh that no eleven year old had the right to produce, and went about setting himself straight.

She didn’t answer him until he was pulling his jumper back on, the right way around this time.

“He’ll be fine.” The look on James’ face was enough, if only for a moment, to convince her that the lie was worth it. “We’ll go as soon as you’ve put your shoes on, darling.”

James gave himself one last onceover, tugged at the hem of his burgandy jumper, and rolled his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Ready?” Mrs Potter asked from the doorway.

James nodded numbly, taking a few stumbling steps forward before she took his hand and lead him out onto the landing. He tripped down the first few stairs, before his brain caught up with his body. He took the rest of the stairs more carefully.

Smudge waited for them at the foot of the staircase, his fingers twitching anxiously as he watched their descent. Mrs Potter smiled at him, but as hard as she tried, it wouldn’t reach the corners of her eyes.

James paused behind her, peering over her shoulder at the front door, as if his father were about to come barrelling through at any second.

“Shoes, James.” Mrs Potter said gently, guiding him towards Smudge.

Smudge led him to the shoe rack in silence, and what was being asked of him only seemed to register when a pair of pristine navy trainers were placed on the floor in front of him.

“Thanks.” He said, bending down to pull them on, and not bothering to tie the laces.

“Ready now?” Mrs Potter asked again, walking over to him so she could place a hand on his shoulder. Her thumb immediately began stroking over the material of his jumper. He nodded again, his eyes still a little unfocused as she took him by the wrist and nudged him to the front door.

“Miss Mia?” Smudge asked, blinking slowly up at her even as he retreated further back into the house. “Should we be expecting you back for dinner?”

She paused for a few moments and then shook her head. “I highly doubt it, Smudge.” She said it kindly, but it didn’t stop him from looking hurt. “I’d much rather you did something for you instead of worrying about us. Have you finished your puzzle yet?”

Smudge perked up immediately, even going so far as to smile brightly at them. “Thank you, Miss Mia!”

He darted off, probably to inform the others, and Mrs Potter watched him go with a soft smile of her own.

She turned back to James and gestured at the front door. He pulled it open and shivered as they stepped out onto the gravel path winding its way through their front garden. Mrs Potter gave him a knowing look, but hurried him along anyway.

Their house was on the edge of a mostly Muggle village, and as such it was the only house for quite some distance. This meant that the walk to the narrow country road they lived on was a long, silent one. A derelict bus stop stood ten yards away from the front gate, and they walked towards it hand-in-hand. A lone Jeep rumbled passed just as they reached the shattered glass of the bus stop’s wall, and Mrs Potter moved to place herself between it and James.

She watched it drive further away from them before turning back to James and motioning for him to take hold of her arm. He did so without complaint and she pulled her wand out of her coat pocket.

“Ready?” She asked, for what was beginning to feel like the hundredth time that morning, and curled her fingers a little more tightly around her wand.

She didn’t hear him mutter “As I’ll ever be,” because she’d already begun Apparating.

.

St Mungo’s main reception was fairly quiet when they stepped through the front door given that it was Christmas time. There were a few people littered around around the waiting room, but not nearly as many people as Mrs Potter had been expecting. A man holding his arm gingerly to his chest, with what looked more like a tentacle instead of a hand, and a woman covered in large, strangely coloured (the differing tones were enough of a giveaway) spots were the only people James could see as his mother practically dragged him to the front desk.

The woman sitting behind the desk had long black hair, kind dark eyes, and offered them a tired smile at their approach. “Good morning. How can I help?”

“Hello.” Mrs Potter replied tightly. Beside her, James returned the lady’s, whose nametag read ‘Harriet’, smile with one of his own.

His mother ran a hand over his head, fingers brushing through his hair as if reassuring herself that he was really there. She took a deep breath and leant forwards so she could rest her free hand on the top of the counter. “I’m looking for Sirius Black? I believe he was brought in just over an hour ago?”

Harriet flicked through several sheets of parchment, pausing after a few moments and looking back up at them. “Can I ask your relation, please?”

“He’s my nephew.” Mrs Potter answered smoothly. There were a few more relations between them than that, but she wasn’t technically lying.

“Of course. He’s up on the fourth floor. The Healers are with him at the moment, but if you don’t mind waiting there is a small visitors room on that floor.”

The thought of seeing Sirius filled James with such an overwhelming sense of dread mixed with excitement that he stopped paying attention. He only realised they were moving when his mother began pulling him down the corridor towards a set of double doors.

Remembering his manners at the last second, he glanced over his shoulder and called out to Harriet. “Thank you!” He felt his spirits lift a little when she tilted her head and smiled.

.

The stairwell was tiny and cramped, barely large enough for two people to stand side-by-side, and James hated every second it took them to get up the eight flights of stairs. He sagged in relief when they finally stepped out onto a small landing. Three of the walls were made up of swinging doors, and he tried to peek down both corridors leading off the landing.

He allowed Mrs Potter to lead him into the waiting room and over to the two-seater settee pushed against the farthest wall. There was a large bay window behind it and James clambered onto the back cushion so he could look out at the skyline below. There weren’t any familiar looking buildings, just Muggle London, and he slumped down onto the seat cushions with a disappointed frown.

It didn’t matter what his mother was doing, she always looked extremely poised and graceful when she moved, in a way that James knew he’d never be able to replicate, and this was no different as she sat down next to him. She sat with her back ramrod straight, her chin tilted high as she watched the doorway like a hawk. James inched closer to her and leant his head against her arm, not quite tall enough to reach her shoulder when she wasn’t slouching.

“Not long now, darling.” She murmured, wrapping her arm around his shoulders and drawing him even closer. He leant into her with a grateful sigh, merely nodding. “Still,” she continued with a soft snort, reaching up to brush his fringe away from his forehead. “I do wish they would hurry up.”

“Me too.” James’ whisper was no more than an exhale of air, and he closed his eyes on a yawn.

Mrs Potter persuaded him to lie down, his head coming to rest on her lap as his feet tucked up against the armrest. “Rest.” She said, hand curling over his shoulder. “I’ll wake you if they tell me anything.”

.

The clock on the wall told him he’d only been asleep for half an hour, but his mother was gone when he woke up. That, more than anything else, worried him. He shot up, stretched the kinks out of his skinny shoulders and got to his feet with a groan. He hurried over to the door, mostly with the intention of finding Mrs Potter, but two sets of footsteps echoing down the hall made him shrink back behind the door. They paused at stairwell, the hinges on one door squealing as it was pushed open.

“Can you believe what a mess this is?” James assumed they were a Healer, but he didn’t want to move in case they noticed him.

“I’ve been here twenty years, and I’ve never seen anything like it! That poor kid.” Whoever the other set of footsteps belonged to was a man and he sighed heavily.

James felt his heart drop into his stomach and clapped a hand to his mouth so he wouldn’t give himself away. Sirius. They were talking about Sirius.

“Whoever did this to him should be locked up.” The first Healer muttered and James silently nodded in agreement.

“'Course they won’t be. Not with a name as wealthy as theirs is, lass.”

“Is he even going to make it?” She sounded young, and the desperation in her voice was almost tangible.

James shuffled his feet, desperate to find Sirius and know that he was still alive.

“There’s no real telling, yet.” The male Healer said gruffly. “We’ve a lotta work ahead of us.”

“I’m going to see if I can find Janette again, maybe she’ll know something that can help.”

Even to James, who knew nothing about Healing, it seemed like a fruitless effort. The two Healers moved off, one moving down the hall past the waiting room and the other heading to another floor.

Suddenly the space around him felt too small, the walls felt like they were pressing in around him. His lungs felt too tight in his chest, as if they’d just shrivelled up and stopped existing, and breathing had become increasingly difficult. His back thudded against the wall and he slid down until he was on the floor, his legs sprawled uncomfortably as his feet jammed against the side of a sofa.

He tried to take in gulps of air, but even though a part of his brain recognised it was happening, his lungs refused to cooperate and he spent a few minutes gasping desperately.

What felt like a lifetime, but was probably only a few minutes, later and he felt a pair of hands grip his shoulders. He was aware of someone speaking to him, but the sound was nothing more than a low drone.

The hands on his shoulders were pressing down too hard against him and he tried to shrug them off, pressing further into the wall as if it would swallow him up if he tried hard enough.

“James.” The rest of whatever was said blurred into one, and James shook his head, still gulping.

The hands were removed from his shoulders almost as quickly as they’d been placed there, and a cool pressure pressed against his forehead. The world expanded again slightly, enough for him to realise that there was a woman he didn’t recognise crouched in front of him.

“It’s alright, James.” She said, smiling as his head started to grow foggy and his eyes began to droop. “I promise.”

.

The next time James woke, the sun was high in the sky, tendrils of weak sunlight creeping through the window and across his face. He felt warm and content as he flexed his toes and cracked his eyes open. His vision was blurry from where his glasses had been removed, but he could see that his mother’s watch read twelve thirty. His brain was still foggy from unconsciousness but he knew it meant he’d been out for roughly two hours.

Mrs Potter was sitting next to him, her hand wrapped loosely around the arm he had resting on her lap. She was watching the door intently, but her shoulders had slumped and she seemed a lot calmer than she had the last time he’d seen her. She must have sensed that he was awake, because she glanced down at him and smiled softly.

“What happened?” He asked, biting down a yawn. He didn’t know why he was so tired but he didn’t like it.

“The Healers said you had a panic attack.” She answered, looking at him with thinly veiled concern. “When we couldn’t get you to calm down, they thought it best if they gave you a Sleeping Draught.”

James frowned lightly, but didn’t say anything and rubbed at his eyes.

“Do you remember what triggered it? The Healers suggested that it could have been something as simple as you worrying about Sirius.” She stroked a hand through his hair and he very narrowly avoided ducking out from under her.

“I..” He trailed off, frown deepening as he thought. “I heard a Healer say they didn’t know- didn’t know if Sirius would- would make it.”

He felt, rather than saw, Mrs Potter tense and his own shoulders stiffened.

James decided to prod further and muttered: “They said it’s really bad, is that true?”

“Ah.” Mrs Potter said, lifting her hand from James’ head and resting it in her lap. She stared down at her fingers and rolled her bottom lip between her teeth. “I wasn’t completely honest with you earlier, darling. The truth is, I had no idea about the state Sirius was in. It was unfair of me to tell you he’d be fine when I didn’t know.”

“You lied?” James demanded, springing up so he could cross his arms indignantly across his chest. “You always say lying is bad!”

“It is.” She agreed, nodding slightly. “I lied to you and that was wrong of me. I should have known you were old enough, and mature enough, to handle the idea that Sirius is very hurt.”

“Don’t you think I don’t know that?” He cried, and he could feel tears creeping up behind his eyes. “I lost my colours, Mum! They’re gone and it’s because Sirius is in there!” At that he pointed a finger towards the door of the waiting room.

“Darling, I know. I’m sorry, I didn’t think about what the lack of colours would be doing to you.” She reached out for him, but he took a deliberate step back.

“Do you know if he’s okay?” He asked, sounding so utterly destroyed that Mrs Potter felt her heart break a little at the sight of it.

“Not yet, but a very kind lady called Janette has been in to say that they’ll let us know as soon as they’re finished with him. That, if nothing else, suggests good things.” She didn’t try to reach out for him again, knowing he wouldn’t want it, but her fingers itched to hold him close and protect him from the horror of it all.

James sighed, a long, heavy sound that shook his entire body. “I just… why him? What did he do to deserve this?” This time, the tears did come, forcing their way out so suddenly he didn’t have much time to prepare.

“Oh, James.” Mrs Potter breathed, letting him rock towards her before she caught him and wrapped him up in a tight hug. “I don’t know, darling, but as soon as all of this is over, we’ll take care of him.”

“Wha- What do you m-m-mean?” The fact he was able to get a coherent sentence, as intermittent with hitched breathing and sniffles as it was, was a feat in itself.

“We haven’t had much chance to talk about it, but I’m sure your father would agree that Sirius cannot return to his parents. To do so, after knowing what they’re responsible for, would be a huge violation of what we stand for.” She urged him to sit down next to her, because as much as she loved him, he was entirely too big to sit on her lap.

“What w-would you d-do?” He was looking at her with so much hope that she knew it was the right thing to say, and this time she wasn’t lying.

“We’d take him in, of course. I will not allow him to be returned to Walburga or Orion’s care. Not after this. Your father will take it up with the Minister himself, if that’s what it takes.”

“Sirius is coming home with us?” James asked, eyes alight, even if he was still crying. She nodded, and he broke out into a watery smile.

“Sirius is coming home with us. Or at least, he’s going somewhere his parents can’t reach him.” Mrs Potter said with a decisive nod.

“Thank you!” James said, and the adrenaline of his anger seemed to have dissipated because he yawned so widely and so suddenly that his jaw cracked.

“I know you won’t want to, but perhaps you should sleep again?” Mrs Potter suggested, lips twitching tiredly when James vehemently shook his head.

“No! Bad things happen when I wake up.” James was determined, but it was like his body was unwillingly drawn back into the cushions because he snuggled into them and yawned again.

“I’ll be here the entire time.” Mrs Potter promised, brushing a thumb against his forehead.

“I don’t want to.” He replied stubbornly, but his eyes drooped regardless.

.

It was dark, wherever he was. He couldn’t see anything, but he could feel the eyes of something else watching him carefully, and his shoulders tensed. He tried to step forward, more to see if he could move than to actually go anywhere, only to find that he couldn’t. There was nothing evidently holding him in place, at least nothing that he could feel, but his feet would not move.

He felt an even greater surge of panic race through him at the idea of being stuck, and in a move of desperation, bent down to try and tug at his leg. The effort proved fruitless, and it confirmed his suspicions that there was nothing physically holding him in place. He groaned in frustration and tried to pull his feet free of his trainers, but that too proved to be pointless, as it seemed they had been stuck in place too.

He didn’t notice the darkness to his left change until he straightened up and his eyes adjusted to the fact there was a spot of pure, true blackness next to his shoulder. The rest of… wherever he was dark, yes, but he could vaguely make out shapes in the distance. Of what, he wasn’t sure, but they were stable and unchanging. This spot next to him, however, was not. It shifted and seemed, strangely, to be hovering as if waiting for him to notice it.

“Where am I?” James asked, not really expecting an answer.

“It is of little importance.” A voice said. It hissed around the edges of its words, as if vocalising them was difficult, or at least unpleasant.

“Who’s there?” James demanded, his heart in his throat and pounding so hard he felt himself shake with it.

“That is of little importance, either.” The voice said, and if James didn’t know any better he would think it almost sounded amused.

“Why am I here?” He tried and the voice made a… pleased sound.

“Now we are getting somewhere.” It rasped, suddenly a lot closer than it had been and almost whispering into his ear. He involuntarily flinched, although he couldn’t move too far away because of his feet. The voice snarled and in an instant was at his other ear. “Don’t hide from me, boy!”

“I’m s-sorry.” James stammered. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Alright.” James should have been concerned with how quickly it backed off, but his instincts told him it was genuine. “Back to the task at hand, child.”

“What am I here for? And why can’t I move?”

“The moving is of your own making.” The black mass disappeared for a moment and then reappeared in front of him. It was strange, but James could tell it was circling him, although whether that was a good thing or not, he didn’t know.

“What do you mean?” The longer he was in its presence, the calmer he felt. That did not, however, mean he felt safe, and there was a need for action pressing against his sternum. “I want to move.”

“Perhaps,” the voice said and if it was going to continue speaking in riddles James knew he was going to get tired of it very quickly. “But wanting does not equal doing, child, and the doing is what is important.”

“But what am I meant to do?” He asked, desperation making him sound angrier than he’d intended and he knew as soon as the words were out of his mouth that he’d made a mistake.

“You dare get an angry at me, boy?” The voice said, the black mass suddenly in his personal space and swirling angrily, tendrils sneaking out and edging closer to his face.

“No, I’m sorry.” He wasn’t sure an apology would work so well this time, but he figured it was probably best to at least try. “I don’t know what you want from me.”

“Nothing.” The voice hissed. “I don’t want anything from you. As I said: the moving is of your making.”

“But I don’t know what that means.” James said.

“Then I cannot help you.” The black mass disappeared, the space where it had been returning to the same darkness as the room around it.

James, now more scared than he had been before the voice had appeared, felt a cold sweat tickling at his brow, and he tried to wipe it away, only to find that his arms would no longer move, either.

“No!” He cried, trying as hard as he could to make his body obey him, but no matter how hard he pulled, his arms would not move.

As the panic began bubbling up inside him, another, very familiar voice called out in the darkness. “Is there someone there? Help!”

“Sirius?” James said, thankful that his mouth, at the very least, was still working. “Sirius is that you?”

“James?” It definitely sounded like Sirius, the inflections in his voice matching perfectly. But as much as James wanted to trust this new voice, the possibility of it being a trick made him cautious.

“Sirius, where are you?”

“I’m not sure. It’s dark and I can’t see anything.” He coughed and there was the sound of a scuffling, as if something was dragging its feet across wooden floorboards. “Where are you?”

“I don’t know either.” James called back. “I can’t move.”

“You can't… move?” Sirius asked, and James could hear the frown in his voice so clearly that it made him smile despite himself.

“No. I’m sort of… stuck. You’re going to have to come to me.”

“Okay, hold on then. Bloody typical, you are.” Sirius grumbled. A few moments later there was a thud and then a yelp.

“Sirius!” James called. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.” There was the noise of wood scraping over wood. “I walked into a sodding table. This place is the pits, mate.”

“You’re telling me.” The smile, which had been slowly fading came back, slightly dimmer than before.

“Right, okay. ” Sirius said to himself. “That’s a… what is that?”

“I think the answer to that is probably 'not good’.” James said with a snort. He knew caution was a wise stance to take, but whatever this thing was sounded so much like Sirius that it was hard to keep his guard up.

“I’d say you’re right about that.” Sirius laughed back, a light sound that wasn’t much more than a huff of air. “Alright, I think I’m getting closer. Reach your hand out, would you?”

“How’d I know you’re Sirius?” It was, in all honesty, a silly question to ask because it would find him whether it was Sirius or not.

“Honestly, we’ve been talking to each other for at least five minutes and you’re asking me that now?” Sirius laughed again, this time longer and louder than the previous one. Sirius’ laugh was distinctive; a loud, musical sound that lilted at the ends and hearing it had always made James instinctively happy.

“It wasn’t like I was expecting you to be here. Wherever here is.” James said defensively. Sirius’ request finally registered and he sighed. “I can’t move my arms, remember?”

“Shit.” Sirius said and there was something about the way he said it that sent James into a fit of giggles. “Well, I dunno. Stick your head out, or something.”

James huffed in disbelief but did as instructed. “Are you okay?”

“I told you, I’m fine.” Although the words sounded harsh, they were said with confusion.

“No, I- I mean, in the real world?”

“What’re you on about, mate?” Sirius asked, both genuine concern and confusion lacing his tone.

“What do you mean 'what’re you on about’. My dad rushed you to St Mungo’s. The Healers don’t know if you’re gonna make it!” James frowned.

“James, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Sirius said, his voice now a lot closer than it had been and James suppressed a shudder. It wasn’t that the movement itself made him uncomfortable, but the fact he couldn’t see where Sirius was made him feel uneasy.

Still, he felt the need to ask: “You don’t know what St Mungo’s is? You’re joking, right?”

James felt a light, cold pressure on his cheek and suppressed a shiver. The voice that answered him no longer sounded like Sirius and panic crept up his spine, making him so utterly terrified that he couldn’t even blink. “I never joke.”

.

James woke up with a start, biting down a startled yelp as he felt cold sweat on his brow. He sat up on the sofa to find himself alone for the second time in one day, and scrubbed a hand over his face. When he took his hand away and opened his eyes he stilled. Colour didn’t completely cover everything, but there were traces of it outside the window as the sun bled into the sky behind the highrises in the distance, and he could see the linoleum outside was of a very pale, almost grey, blue.

He got to his feet and walked unsteadily over to the door, immediately curling a hand around the doorframe for support. This time, nobody interrupted him as he stepped out into the corridor. Unsure of where he was going, he decided to try his luck on the other side of the door he wasn’t meant to go through, and edged over to it cautiously. He could tell now that the “PERSONNEL ONLY” was written in a bright, obnoxious orange, which seemed strange. He didn’t dwell on it too much though as he pushed through into the corridor beyond and steadily made his way down the hall, pausing at every door, just incase someone else appeared.

The colours, he noticed, were getting brighter and more nuanced the further down he went. He could see the differences in shades and tones now, and he tried desperately to bite down his excitement because he knew it didn’t necessarily mean anything.

There were small glass windows in each door, which James was very thankful for, because it meant all he had to do was stand on his tiptoes and look in. He found Sirius three doors from the end of the corridor on the left hand side.

He stilled, breath hitched in his throat as he watched the unconscious body of his best friend… soul mate… other half… inhale and exhale slowly. It was, without a doubt, the surrealist moment of James’ life thus far; watching the most important person in his life battle to stay alive. And James understood then, what they’d meant when they’d said they didn’t know if Sirius would make it. His body was covered in bandages, to the point that James couldn’t actually see any skin from where he was standing. If he hadn’t been so emotionally drained, he would have at the very least teared up, but before he even really had the chance to think about it, footsteps sounded from the opposite end of the corridor.

Heart pounding, James threw the door open, careful to stop it slamming. He eased it shut and then crouched underneath the window, praying that whoever it was wouldn’t be coming to check up on Sirius. He glanced around the room for a possible hiding spot and huffed out a breath when the only viable option turned out to be a wardrobe. Thankfully, the footsteps stopped a few doors up, but he still crept further into the room, making sure to keep out of sight of anybody who might peer in.

The colours inside the room were flickering so quickly at this point, the browns of the bedside table blurring together, the pale green blanket draped across Sirius washing him out even more than he already was. From this angle James could see that Sirius wasn’t as extensively bandaged as it first appeared. His face was free of them at any rate, although James could see the edges of them wrapping up around his shoulders and down his arms. The hand closest to James was free, so James reached forwards and gently took hold of it, trying to ignore how cold it felt against his palm.

Sirius was so pale, the colour of his skin so washed out and faded that he genuinely looked dead. It was only because James could see, and hear, him breathing that he knew he wasn’t. James bent down so his forehead was resting on their clasped hands and took a deep breath.

It was shaky when he released it, air ghosting out across the skin of Sirius’ hand as James tried to blink back tears. Apparently his tear ducts had recovered enough after all. “Please be okay.” He whispered, lifting his head and holding Sirius’ palm against his cheek. “You can’t leave me.”

He kept talking for a while, nonsensical whispers that he knew didn’t really make sense, mostly to comfort himself. He didn’t know how long he’d been there because he hadn’t been paying attention to the clock on the wall next to the window, but he knew it must have been at least half an hour. There was a strange calm that had settled over him the longer he sat there, as if the very air around him knew that everything was going to be okay. It was strange, but James revelled in it, letting it wash over him so that he was completely relaxed and mellow.

A change in Sirius’ breathing made James lift his head from where he’d had it resting on a free patch of mattress. He watched for some kind movement on Sirius’ part for a few minutes only to be disappointed when it didn’t look like anything was going to happen. He was content just to be able to see Sirius was alive, however, so laid his head back down and started humming quietly to himself.

.

Sirius could feel something pressing against his hand and something wrapped around his arm. His body felt tight and heavy in a way that made him anxious, and he fought for consciousness. It took him a while to fight to the surface, but eventually he blinked his eyes open to look blearily up at the ceiling of a room that smelt like flowers. He didn’t recognise the room he was in, but there was something about it that made him feel safer than he had in a while, and he relaxed into the pillows tucked behind his head.

The sound of gentle breathing further down the bed made him glance down properly, and he felt himself begin to smile. James was tucked as closely as he could get without leaving his chair, hand gripping Sirius’ tight enough that his knuckles were white, his body placed directly between Sirius and the door.

Sirius could tell James wasn’t really asleep, per se; had spent enough time in his company to know what a sleeping James looked like, and it was a lot less flattering than his current state. Still, it took James a few moments to open his eyes and look up at Sirius, but when he did the change in him was instantaneous. He shot to his feet, almost knocking his chair to the ground, and stood over Sirius with an expression on his face that Sirius never wanted to see again.

He looked broken in so many ways Sirius didn’t even know where to start counting, and the smile he was giving him said he’d only just started piecing himself back together. There was so much hope in that smile though, almost too much, and it made Sirius ache to look at it.

“You’re alive.” James whispered, almost disbelieving as he reached out to brush his fingers against Sirius’ face. “You’re alive.” His voice cracked on the last word, and he ducked his head, rubbing at his face with his free hand.

“Course I am.” Sirius said, voice dry and crackly from lack of use. He coughed, wishing he could wipe his mouth, but his arm burned when he tried to move it. He sighed in annoyance and let it relax again.

“I didn’t-” James started, breaking off to wipe at his eyes with both hands. Sirius gave him a sad, if encouraging, smile and nodded as much as he could when James tried again. “I didn’t think you would be.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Sirius grumbled, fingers searching for James’ hand again.

“You promise?” James asked, fingers curled tight against Sirius’.

Sirius looked him right in the eye and forced himself to squeeze James’ hand no matter how much it hurt. “I won’t leave you.”

“Me neither.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> six months between updates is a lot better than eighteen, but i'm still slightly apologetic it took so long. most of the struggle was trying to merge my current writing style with the way i've been writing this bc they're in two very different places but #consistency amiright?
> 
> anywho i'm on [tumblr](http://yulbos.tumblr.com) if any of you wanna come shout at me

"Where is he?" Mrs Potter asked. She was stood in front of the sofa James had been sleeping on only an hour before before, and put her hands on her hips. "Fleamont, where is he?"

"I doubt he's far, love." Fleamont said gently, stepping up behind her and laying a hand on her shoulder. She leant into him, heaving a sigh. "You know what he's like; too inquisitive for his own good."

"I told him I would be here." Mrs Potter said. Her shoulders slumped slightly. "That's the second time I've lied to him today. I hate lying to him."

"We'll explain when we find him. He'll understand." Fleamont rubbed his thumb against the cotton of her jumper. "Now, where is the most likely place for him to be?"

"With Sirius." Mrs Potter answered dryly, straightening herself out so she was standing at full height. "Or the canteen."

"Let's assume the first." Fleamont grinned, turning on his heel and striding out into the corridor.

Mrs Potter followed a little more slowly, checking behind the door to make sure he wasn't having another panic attack. When she finally left the room, her husband had managed to flag down a passing Healer, and was explaining the situation to her.

"Of course we can check." She was saying, looking slightly flustered as she tried to keep hold of her armful of empty potion bottles. "I'll go and put these down somewhere safe and then I'll be right with you."

"Thank you so much." Mrs Potter said, sweeping forward and taking Fleamont's hand between her own. "We're sorry to bother you; you're clearly very busy."

"Oh, no, not at all!" The Healer said hurriedly, shaking her head. "It's no trouble. Just give me a tic."

"Thank you." Fleamont murmured as the Healer rushed off. There was a crash of glass against linoleum, the Healer cursing under her breath, and then a muttered " _Reparo_."

A few minutes later and she was back, giving them a small smile. She shrugged, the movement a little jerky, stiff around the shoulders. "Sorry about that. Do you have any idea where your son could be?"

"The mostly likely would be that he's gone to find Sirius." Mrs Potter said, leaning into Fleamont so that their shoulders bumped against each other.

"But Black's room is prohibited unless you're a member of staff." The Healer said with a small frown.

"Trust me, that wouldn't stop him." Mrs Potter smiled.

"No," the Healer said, shaking her head vigorously, "I mean that there's a protection charm on the door to stop people from going in."

"James has… a knack… of getting into places he shouldn't." Fleamont hedged, sharing a look with his wife behind the Healer's back when she turned to march down the corridor.

"Should we tell her?" Mrs Potter asked. "If he's in there, she's going to wonder _how_."

"No." Fleamont decided after a few moments of contemplation. "It's not our secret to tell."

The Healer pushed through the "PERSONELL ONLY" door, pausing to hold it open for them. "He shouldn't have even been able to get through here."

Mrs Potter murmured a "thank you" as she stepped into the corridor. She briefly wondered if the person who had been charged with decorating had met their soulmate; the floors were light yellow linoleum, and the walls were an odd shade of purple. They clashed so horribly that she couldn't stop herself from pulling a face over it.

The Healer carried on down the corridor, seemingly lost in thought as she paid little attention to them. "This is Black's room." She eventually said, coming to a stop in front of one of the doors.

Mrs Potter felt anxiety kick in as they approached. She was under no illusions that James was in there, but it wasn't him she was worried about. Sirius was her primary concern; they'd been told the brunt of what to expect, but seeing was an entirely different thing to hearing.

"I can't believe it." The Healer breathed, mouth slightly agape as she looked through the small window in the door. "How did he get in?"

Fleamont kept quiet, smiling almost serenely to himself.

The Healer opened the door and strode into the room, leaving both Potters scrambling in after her. Mrs Potter's breath hitched slightly as she took in the sight in front of her. James and Sirius slept side by side, their noses almost touching. Sirius was flat on his back, the bandages making it necessary, but his head was turned towards James. James had been careful enough to make sure he wasn't touching Sirius' arm, but even then he'd somehow managed to wrap himself around Sirius' abdomen.

The Healer seemed to have run out of how many times she could exclaim it shouldn't be possible, because she'd resorted to just looking at the pair of them in bemusement.

James seemed to almost sense their presence, because he stretched, knee clicking as he blinked his eyes open. He clearly wasn't quite enough to fully register that they were there though, because there was no way he'd be looking at Sirius the way he was if he did.

Fleamont cleared his throat, and James froze, shoulders tense and eyes wide. "Fancy seeing you here, James."

"Hi." James said after a few moments of uncomfortable silence. He rolled so he could look at them properly, and winced at the fierce look the Healer was giving him.

"You shouldn't be in here." She said, frowning heavily at him.

"Sorry?" He hedged. From behind the Healer's back, Mrs Potter gave him an approving nod, and she saw his shoulders relax a little bit.

"Only Healers are allowed in here." The Healer continued, marching forwards and picking the clipboard up from the end of Sirius' bed. She flicked through a few sheets of parchment and mouthed the words as she read them, but from the angle Mrs Potter couldn't tell what she was saying.

"I'm sorry." James said again. He shifted, as if to get off the bed, but Sirius' hand reached out and gripped his wrist.

"Don' move." Sirius grumbled. He cracked an eye open and glared blearily at the Healer. He then turned his gaze to the Potters and offered them a timid smile.

"Hello, Sirius." Mrs Potter said quietly, moving forwards so she could perch on the edge of the empty chair beside him. James shifted, moving up the bed so he was resting against the headboard. The hand he had to let go of twitched, only stilling when he started brushing his fingers through Sirius' hair instead.

"'Lo." Sirius said, sighing as James gently combed out a knot in his hair.

"Well," the Healer huffed, but James could tell she was trying to fight a smile by the way she was biting her lip, "now that you're in here, I can't very well kick you out again."

"Thank you." Fleamont said, turning to face her properly and smiling at her.

She flushed a little, ducking her head in an attempt to hide it. She coughed, and then looked directly at James. "Just… Next time please be more careful. The isolation is for _your_ safety, as much as it is for the patients on this ward. Luckily there aren't any dangerous illnesses floating about today, but there could have been. Do you understand?"

"Yes." James answered, staring morosely at his lap. Sirius reached up, the pained wince telling them how much it hurt, and tapped him on the shin. James met his gaze, quirked a quick smile, and took hold of the offered hand, thumb running over the back of it. "I _am_ sorry."

The Healer's smile finally broke free and she straightened her shoulders. "As long as you know for the future."

"How can we begin to thank you properly?" Mrs Potter asked.

"There's really no need; I'm just doing my job." She protested.

"Well, then. Thank you… sorry, I don't think I ever asked your name." Fleamont said.

"Heather." The Healer said with a small shrug. "Heather Hillenbrand."

"Thank you, Heather. For helping us." Fleamont smiled. " _And_ for being so understanding of this one." He nodded in James' direction.

"Not a problem." She placed the clipboard back on the end of Sirius' bed. She then clapped her hands and flexed her fingers. "I'm not in charge of Mr Black's treatment, so I'm afraid I can't tell you much that you don't already know. I could try and find Healer Walden if you'd like, though."

"Yes, please." Mrs Potter said, laying a gentle hand on Sirius' knee and offering him a reassuring smile when he startled.

"Alright, well. I'll be back as soon as I can." With that, she seemed to vanish from the room with nothing more than a swish of dark green robes.

As soon as she was gone, Mrs Potter turned to James with her eyebrows raised expectantly.

"I'm sorry?" He tried, valiantly ignoring the inelegant snort Sirius let out. "I'm really, _really_ sorry. But… you weren't there when I woke up and I didn't know what else to do."

"I'm not angry at you." Mrs Potter said, breaking into a grin when his shoulders slumped in relief. "I've lied to you _twice_ today, James. I can't be angry with you when I broke a promise to you first."

"I know I shouldn't have just walked off, but..." he waved his free hand around, gesturing at the room as if they were meant to know what that meant. "I woke up and my colours were back."

Sirius hummed, a soft, happy sound. Mrs Potter saw James' fingers tighten around Sirius'. "Sorry, mate."

"You shut up." James said, tapping him on the forehead in reprimand. "None of this is your fault."

"Kind of is." Sirius flung back, but James seemed to think this was a conversation for when neither of his parents were there, because he didn't bother answering.

"Sirius…" Fleamont began, only to be interrupted by the door opening again and two Healers entering the room.

"You found him then." The male Healer said. James immediately recognised him as the man he'd heard earlier.

"Yes." Mrs Potter said with a weak chuckle.

"I'm glad. Hello, Sirius." He met Sirius' gaze steadily. "My name is Healer Walden, and I'm the person in charge of your care whilst you're here with us."

"Hello." Sirius said, almost shyly, and he buried himself further into James' side.

"We're going to keep you here for a few more days, at least. You appear to have made startling progress over the past few hours, but we'll want to keep an eye on you just to be sure."

"Okay." Sirius hummed. He gripped James' hand hard enough for the skin around his knuckles to turn white.

"You're too stubborn to do anything else." James whispered, patting the top of Sirius' head.

"Told you, 'm not leaving." Sirius murmured back sleepily. Mrs Potter felt herself tear up at the declaration.

Healer Walden watched them, both his eyes and his smile friendly. "I won't explain your injuries just yet, because I want you to focus on recovering as much as possible. Which," he added, his smile turning rueful, "means listening to the Healers, alright?"

Sirius nodded. "'Kay." He said, around a yawn.

"Mr and Mrs Potter, could I have a word?" Healer Walden asked, jerking his head towards the door. They followed him out, and the female Healer only stayed long enough to jot a few things down on her clipboard before leaving too.

Before the door shut fully behind her, she paused and glanced at them over her shoulder. "Rest."

"Do you feel okay?" James asked, wiggling himself further down the bed so they were lying next to each other again. He reached out and gently took Sirius' hand, the need for physical contact overwriting anything else.

"Better." Sirius answered. He didn't add anything else, not because he wasn't thinking it, but because admitting "now that you're here" out loud would have been at least ten steps too far. Instead, he yawned again and flexed his toes, the blanket moving down the bed slightly. "'m tired."

James tugged the blanket back up, carefully avoiding jostling Sirius too much as he covered both of them. Sirius head was resting on James' shoulder and he grumbled as James moved around.

"I won't let anyone hurt you." James promised.

.

He hadn't meant to fall asleep, had felt like he'd rested more than enough already. But the calmness of Sirius' room lulled him into a light doze anyway. The pressure of a cool palm against his forehead was lured him back to consciousness, but he kept his breathing as even as he could and his eyes shut.

Sirius' hand was loose in his, although he felt it squeeze when he sniffed. He squeezed back, careful to ensure his parents didn't see. They were speaking quietly, but his brain hadn't caught up enough to fully make out what they were saying.

"They're going to be fine." He eventually managed to make out.

"I know." His mother sighed, her thumb gently stroking against his forehead. "I'm just… how could they do this? To their own _child_?"

"They're not like us, Euphemia." Fleamont said cautiously. "They're too wrapped up in their ideals to bother pretending to be rational."

"We can't let them take him, Flea." Euphemia said, and James could _feel_ the loving look she was giving them. "No child deserves that."

"Of course we won't. The Aurors will be here soon enough, and then we can figure this all out." James felt Sirius tense beside him, his fingers becoming claws against James' wrist.

"Ugh." Euphemia groaned, taking her hand away from his forehead. "I could _kill_ Walburga."

"I wouldn't advise it." Fleamont said, and James could hear his amusement; could picture the way his eyes crinkled at the corners, the scrunch of his nose as he fought against even the tiniest of smiles. "I'd rather not have to visit you in Azkaban, if it's all the same."

"I'd risk it for that old bat, you know." She grumbled, still clearly upset. There was a lightness in her tone that hadn't been there previously, though. "How vile do you have to be to-"

"Best not to dwell on it now, love." Fleamont interrupted kindly. "There isn't much we can do until Sirius is well enough, anyway. The Aurors are going to want to talk to him."

A few moments later there was a light tap on the door, and it took everything James had to remain still. Footsteps crossed over to roughly where he pictured his father to be standing.

"The Aurors are here. They'd like to speak with you both, if you don't mind." James recognised the sound of Healer Walden's voice well enough now that it didn't take him long to figure out who it was.

"Of course." Euphemia said. There was the soft scrape of a chair against linoleum and then the pad of her footsteps walking to the door. "Are they alright where they are?"

"Mr Black is fine for the moment, so yes."

All three of them left, but James didn't dare open his eyes for a few moments. He tilted his head to find Sirius watching him, his eyes wide and scared.

"Wha?" Sirius' voice cracked as he tried to whisper, and he frowned at himself. "What did t-they mean "the Aurors are here?"

"I'm not sure." James hedged. It wasn't a lie; he _didn't_ know what they were doing, because no one ever told him anything, but he had an idea.

" _James_." Sirius said, frown deepening as if he could sense there was something he wasn't being told.

"My parents want to take you in." He said before he could stop himself. He grimaced and squeezed his eyes shut.

"They want to _what_?" Sirius demanded. He looked ready to jump out of bed. "Are they _mad_? They can't do that, my pa-" He froze. He reached out to grip James' hand, his eyes wide as he stared at James in mounting horror. "My parents will kill them. You can't let them, you don't know what my parents would do."

"Tell me." James said, voice quiet and aspiring for reassuring. "What would they do?"

"They've got dark magic. Stuff you can't even begin to i-imagine. Like, an entire _library_ full. Your parents are nice, James." Sirius said, glaring when James cut him off.

"They've already decided. 'M not gonna stop them." James said kindly. He shuffled around a little bit, before settling down again. "I don't want you to go back to them."

Sirius remained quiet for a few minutes, and it was long enough for James to think he'd fallen asleep again. When he did speak, his voice was quiet and sounded incredibly small. "I don't either."

It was as if admitting this was too much for Sirius, because he did his best to turn his back on James, regardless of the very obvious pain he was in.

"Ugh." James groaned, flopping down onto his back. "Your parents are the absolute _worst_."

Sirius snorted despite himself, softly enough that James struggled to hear him, but it made him smile anyway.

.

The Aurors came for Sirius about an hour later, followed by a very pale Euphemia and an emotionally drained Fleamont. Healer Walden was the last into the room, clicking the door shut behind him before he moved to check on Sirius' bandages.

"James." Euphemia murmured, gesturing for him to move off the bed.

"Bu-" He started to protest, only for Fleamont to shake his head. He sighed, patting Sirius on the cheek, and hopped off the bed.

"You can get back on in a minute." Healer Walden promised, tone dry. He smiled when James pouted. He turned to Sirius. "I promise this won't take long."

The nearest Auror to Sirius shuffled his feet, stilling when Healer Walden sent him an annoyed look. "You can talk to him when I'm done _treating him_ , Auror Ness. Not before."

The other Auror gave Ness a subtle shake of the head that James only saw because he was looking at the clock.

Ness sighed heavily and shrugged. "We can wait."

"I know you can." Walden said. His attention refocused on Sirius and he held out a hand. "Can you squeeze as hard as you can for me?"

Healer Walden was clearly good at his job, James thought, because he was quick in whatever he was doing. James wasn't sure what he was doing most of the time, but Sirius didn't appear to be in any more pain at any point.

When he was done, Walden gripped Sirius' hand again and smiled. "I'll be back later on for a check-up, but things are looking better." He turned to the two Aurors and scowled. "He's all yours."

They waited for him to leave before they approached the bed. The female Auror perched on the chair Euphemia had been on earlier, and leant forward so she was on eye level with Sirius. "You know why we're here, I trust." Sirius nodded and she heaved a sigh. "Now, I realise this is going to be hard, Mr Black. I want to let you know that what we want to ask isn't deliberately to upset you, but the chances of it happening are high. We'll take this as slowly and carefully as we can, alright? Before we start though, are there any questions you have for _us_?"

"Does James have to be here?" Sirius asked. He shot James an apologetic look, the guilt clear on his face.

Despite being a little put out at the idea Sirius didn't want him there, he also understood. Sirius was going to relive an experience bad enough to have put him in _hospital_. James wasn't that much of an arsehole to hold that against him in any way.

"It's okay, I'll go sit in the waiting room." He said, ignoring the surprised looks his parents shot him.

"Sorry, James. I just…" Sirius tried, still looking guilty. James shook his head.

"No, it's okay. I get it." James said, slipping between his parents and the Auror so he could lean down and rest his forehead against Sirius' temple. He took a moment just to breathe, before stepping back and trying to smile. "I'll see if I can you a chocolate frog, yeah?"

Sirius instantly perked up, smile hopeful. "Would you? I haven't eaten in _ages_."

"'Course." James said. He paused a moment, and then grinned. "I'll give you the rubbish card."

Sirius scowled, but his eyes crinkled at the corners. "Twat."

"Please." James countered, still grinning. "You love me."

Sirius instantly flushed, shaking his head. It was more out of exasperation than denial, though. "Merlin help me."


End file.
